I feel like this whenever there is some nutritionist on TV talking about healthy living. They eat like two strawberries and bran muffin for breakfast, a small salad with just vinegar on it and maybe some orange slices for lunch and a half a chicken breast with like 6 almonds for dinner and work out for like three…

“You practically crapped your pants! Except for him, he crapped his pants!”

Chris Brown is an inherently violent person!? SHOCKING.

Those guns don’t have a proper home now. Thanks, Obama.

I mean, he’s a fuckwit cum barrel of hot water-and-raisin farts but I’m glad this ended peacefully and that Curran was unharmed.

HI! my name is Chris Brown. I'm an asshole.and I suck at pretty much everything!

“Fuck the police” and “Y’all can suck a fart out my ass for all I care.”

Holy shit, this guy is bad at.......life in general I guess?

It’s true. When HD 164595 sends its little green people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending little green men that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems to us. They’re bringing alien drugs. They’re bringing alien crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good bug-eyed people.

Contact remains my favorite of the “Is there something out there?” movies. Of course, I’m the only person I know who liked this movie. But I really enjoyed the exploration of the science vs. religion debate, which is something so rarely seen in movies, even on a superficial level.

How thrilling would it be, if this turned out to be true? To live during the time that evidence was found that life exists beyond our own watery rock would be to live in interesting times indeed.

The first rule of Punching Roger Ailes in the Face Club is never talk about Punching roger Ailes in the face Club.

I’ll admit it, I thought the wife at first too. I mean can you blame her?

Is the only adjective he knows “great”?

This is the beauty of Trump. Forget “softening”. Forget “pivoting”. He can’t contain the maelstrom in his head. He can only bottle it up for very short slices of time, but it builds and needs to burst forth. He can hire all the campaign managers in the world but unless they come armed with tranquilizer guns, you’ll…

You misread. He has the “beast” people working for him.

How can this be happening?

To be fair, I don’t think anyone really wanted to drink OJ from concentrate. It was always gross, just used to be the only/cheapest option.