THIS IS THE TRUCK WE NEED.

Are you kidding? This is the truck we actually need!

I had an argument (I use “argument” kindly, since it was simply my being right and them being wrong) with someone the other day about Papa Johns. Even were he not absolute garbage that would be absolute garbage pizza. The Pizza Hut counter inside of a fucking Target has better pizza. Sbarro’s in the food court at the…

It’s pretty simple. Conservative humor is usually something like “HEY, HOW ABOUT DISABLED BLACK PEOPLE? *tries to shuck and jive but falls over* AT LEAST THEY CAN PARK UP FRONT AT KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN!!!!!” or “POOR PEOPLE, HUH? DO THEY REALLY DESERVE IT OR WHAT??!!” or “MUSLIMS, MAN. I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING…

He’s probably just pissed that the “cunts” and the “libs” and the “fags” “took away” his moving-and-shaking powers.

I was trying to ship a bass drum recently (and not an unusally large one!), and in order to transport it in my Mazda 6 I had to actually unbox it, fold up the box to put in the trunk along with the packing material, shimmy the drum into the back seat, and take tape with me to reverse the process in FedEx’s parking lot.

I’m not so sure. It’s medically proven that “regret” is closely tied to the function of the Shame Gland, and it’s pretty obvious Rutting Roger had his removed some time in the mid-70's.

You could 100% agree with every single idiot idea she espouses, buy every book she writes and publication that gives her a column, and she would do everything in her power to make you dislike her. It’s how she gets off.

But it’s not $30k at a time, right?

Welp, time to pack it in. LastDitch5 has disproved all the tenets of modern Progressivism. He has pierced our armor with his steady typing and keen wit, and exposed us for the LIBTARDZ and CUCKS we are.

Maybe so, but at least it’s $1 ticket at a time and the money is ostensibly supposed to go to education.

THAT WAS A WEIRD ONE

Man, this anecdata, conjecture, straight-up bias, and sample size of one from a guy who sounds like he’s on the higher-functioning end of the autism spectrum is really selling me on the idea that we no longer need to teach people how to do 65% of all jobs!

Chris Brown is an idiotic druggie rageball try-hard?

HOW COULD WE HAVE SEEN THIS COMING?

As a big fan of “Contact”, both book and movie, my funny bone was highly tickled by The Venture Brother’s “20 Years To Midnight” episode.

The only way you could believe there is no life anywhere else in this gigantic universe is to be really bad at math. Intelligent life, near enough to contact us and cross interstellar distances, that we can argue.

I’d donate a hundred bucks to the Trump Campaign And Dumpster Fire Weenie Roast to land a solid fist anywhere on his doughy body. I’d be willing to punch him right in the asshole.

Don’t forget “fantastic”! Though I usually hear that in Christopher Walken’s voice.

I get that being cagey in case a big project shits the bed is solid Corporate-ing, but I think this is refreshing. Give us things to get excited about! Cadillac can somehow be the most daring and the most cautious of the major players. They should go a little bananas.

We can only hope...