“she traveled to several states and swabbed the equipment for samples, then sent it off to a lab with her own money. The result? Nearly all the areas she sampled were filled with some kind of bacteria”

It’s going up 38% overnight!  If that keeps happening it will be $76/month by the end of a week!

Kim maybe. Jimmy is a career criminal. While he hasn’t personally killed anybody, people have died because of him, lives have been ruined, and he doesn't seem to have any remorse over anything except not getting away with it. Guys like that should not get happy endings.

What? The price of goods and services goes up over time? When did this start happening?

“Wait...these sets don’t look right for a live action Fantasia...”

That’s fine for quality of food, but not for public health. It can take a few days for food poisoning to manifest and people tend to blame the last thing they ate, even though it often is not the problem.

I always use zip-top bags.  Squeeze out extra air and even a thin marinade will cover them well without having to make a ton of it.

I only did by the voice.

I’m looking forward for this but clean-shaven Nick Offerman gives off uncanny valley vibes.

I don’t like smoothies—or any beverage that isn’t Diet Coke

30 pounds of sausage that a passenger had hidden inside six diapers in their suitcase.

They have such sensitive noses I think they can smell things that have been vacuum packed. I know my dog can definitely smell cheese through vacuum packing.

In that last picture, I’m pretty sure you have topped those pizzas with dried apricot slices.

You can do this with supplies too, especially bulky ones. Going on vacation with a small child that still needs diapers? Need big beach towels that you will never use again for a bunch of people? Don’t pay for an extra suitcase on the flight, just have them delivered to your destination.

Or just diced jerky.

Vienna Beef is fine, but it was a sad day when Best’s Kosher shut down.

It's second shift on the AV Club. It doesn't have to make sense, it just has to sound supercilious.

Lukewarm take: season 2 was pretty darn good except for the Sam/Rebecca storyline which frequently dragged down the whole affair.

It’s really easy to piss off Italians when it comes to food.

There’s a saying for that:

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.