One of the saddest moments on any nature documentary is when the gazelle can finally rest in one of the rare available chairs on the Serengeti and then some lion pushes him over.

She is clearly still rattled by your Chopped appearance.

Can we talk about “winning with class” before retaining the domestic abusing full back, signing a running back implicated in the Darren Sharper case and a wide receiver who had felony levels of marijuana mailed to his house?

Jed York is a world class fuck boy.

“This is such a huge waste of time!” he tweeted from his spot protesting Tom Brady’s suspension outside NFL headquarters.

As a Giants fan, I’m conflicted. On the one hand, he’s been remarkably consistent. On the other hand, his consistency means he’s likely to get the deal but somehow return the signed contract to the wrong team.

Man, I hated LeBron through his first couple of years in Miami. However, his last one or two years in South Beach, I started to notice that he just shut up, put his head down, and did some outstanding work. I started to at least respect him at that point (as if he or anyone cares about my feelings towards him).…

As a Patriots fan, my favorite part of the preseason is the early wave of “This is the year the rest of the AFC East catches up! Watch out!” stories, followed by every other team flaming out, then crashing, then burning to the ground, then sinking into the swamp. But it rarely happens this fast.

On the bright side, at least the tent was open.

This still represented a vast improvement over the previous day’s practice, when Manuel’s first pass was intercepted and returned for a touchdown by the Patriots' corporate hospitality tent.

Seems like a very all-or-nothing take. If Bernie can’t fix the problem 100%, on the day he takes office, then he’s ripe for criticism because he hasn’t done enough and won’t do enough in the future? Not really a fan of that analysis.

Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

Anderson Silva is the greatest fighter that I ever saw in person or on TV and it's a crying shame that Jimmy Johnson tricked him into using Extenze.

“Why didn’t you correct the misinformation contained in the Mortensen tweet?”

“Well we had an investigation. And we needed to give Ted Wells the time and independence to come up with something that would support the things we told him to find. He had complete discretion on which facts to ignore, which facts to make up,…

Miss Teen South Carolina would be a better commissioner than the Ginger Hammer(head).

I was going to make a funny image in which I crossed out all the irrelevant words and left only the meaningful parts, but somehow I ended up with “Clown fart gastropub Mexico.” Not sure what I did wrong.

I think what Goodell is trying to say is that he personally believes that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they…

And then dropping further to play for the Browns...

Saying he was sucker punched implies Smith didn’t throw any punches which I find hard to believe. Most likely he threw some but most of them landed 10 yards past Enemkpali or out of bounds.

Geno Smith: “Ikemefuna Enemkpali”