They were probably turned in because that behavior’s a “First Class perk” which they didn’t pay for...

I think I just like the idea of getting on a plane and finding myself so horny that it goes down in the seat. My vajay is so inconsistent these days. Sleep then wake. Sleep then wake.

That, right there, is the best response you could have given.

Why are you eating at Qdoba and not Chipotle?

You know what, I’m not mad at it either. I just kinda didn’t ask for the low-budget porno.

Why are all these buffoons believing that the mother is extorting Nicki Minaj? Why are all these people in the comments so fucking stupid?

Nah. You can lay next to your step dad without the expectation of being raped. You can leave your child with her step dad without the expectation he will rape her.

I had the distinct pleasure (/s) of meeting a great many politicians during my time as a reporter. John Kasich is somewhere in the top 3 for the most miserable, unpleasant motherfuckers to be stuck in a room with. He is a deeply, deeply unpleasant person to be around, and I would think that even if his politics…

And really, he’s not so big on the indoor voice when you get him away from the cameras. He loves to berate people and is a pretty admitted rageaholic.

Anyone who’s ever been exposed to Conservative Cognitive Dissonance knows that she’s probs totally serious and not trolling at all. Just like Paul Ryan can listen to Rage Against the Machine without a hint of irony, so can DeVos dress up like a beloved champion of education without a thought. In her world, she…

It really drives me up the fucking wall that this guy has been allowed to market himself as some sort of “reasonable” conservative just because he can use his big boy indoor voice and go potty all by himself.

I’d have called myself a moderate republican as recently as four years ago. Even a liberal republican. But after seeing these crazies, I don’t know what I am, but I’m not THAT.

That’s the worst Dolores Umbridge costume I’ve EVER seen. She didn’t even get the hair color right.

BetsyDeVile is wearing the costume of the scariest thing she can imagine- a teacher who teaches multi cultural children the realities of this world, without a religious slant.

Those pictures of him eating on the campaign trail functioned as both an appetite suppressant and an abortifacient. Perhaps he should be banned.

My favorite chill pill:

Chill Pill now marked as legal alternative for RU486, see new GOP health plan for details.*

*Chill Pill still requires $500 co-pay and must be purchased as separate insurance add on. Pharmacies reserve right to call you a disgruntled trollop when dispensing Chill Pill.

“Take a chill pill, vagina havers. No, seriously, it’s the only pills I’m allowing you women things to have,” the Kasich said.

“challenge: Can you find a Bluetooth-enabled butt plug in the wild, and can you turn it on without its owner’s help?”

seems like they found the right guy for the job, at least.