Chartered planes are known to carry things that destroy the nose.

Furthering the point that Hollywood is creepy as fuck and will come up with any excuse it can think of to sexualize a child.

Her breast was...under siege.

I’m starting to feel nostalgic for when I only knew Seagal as a hilariously lazy actor and action star who couldn’t do a brisk walk before getting red, sweaty and out of breath.

“In his 20s, on a dare, he explored sculpting and discovered both his ability to capture human emotion and energy and the power of art to amplify.”

Sir, you can’t climb that - no, it’s not “the best jungle gym ever” - no, Sir. You have to try to get a budget...GET DOWN FROM THERE RIGHT NOW MISTER OR YOU ARE GOING IN TIME OUT!!!

Hey, if that’s what it takes to keep him occupied, I’m all for building the statue.

This is a sad day for all DC-area macrophiliacs

Just imagine a group of Secret Service agents all trying to be serious while his fat ass jumps about half a foot in the air desperately trying to reach it.

Warning: The more your mark wagers, and the more he’s already had to drink, the more likely you are to get the shit beat out of you for pulling such a stunt.

Hydraulic recoil mechanisms is my bag. No need to reset the gun after every shot.

Reality is consistent. People’s perception of reality is inconsistent and constantly shifting.

It’s a dumb one, but I’ve always been a fan of this one.
The Bet: that you can drink out of a Champagne bottle without opening the bottle.
The trick: Flip it upside down and pour something into the punt (dimple on the bottom of a bottle) and drink from it.

I believe someone needs time in Room 101.

I actually found it quite convenient when they changed from muzzle loading to breach loading for modern canons. I don’t see why anyone would find the changeover infuriating.

I don’t like the show because it contradicts previous installments of the series.

Disney pissing all over decades of Star Wars EU canon for Rogue One because in all the breadth and richness of the Star Wars universe they couldn’t think up a plot idea other than stealing the Death Star plans. Five missions, two years and loads of proper heroes all down the drain.

It was still bad then, don’t let them not being dicks now excuse them for the dickish behavior then.

My high school reunion. I did not have a good time at high school, but everyone was so kind (and adult) at the reunion, that it makes me question just how bad high school really was.