"Instead, he found the space for one himself."

Oh Hai DUAN,

"Signed

"I'd highly recommend you take precautions around 'Bows'."

"Paper bags? Please, we've moved to reusable totes."

"That's exactly how we felt about Sting."

+1 cutter

This is almost as bad as that USA Swimming/Dick Clark promo titled "Stoke Off For Autism"

If it's RustyShackleford then I'm changing my god damn locks.

You should follow @50Cent. You'd be amazed.

"I want a divorce."

Fuck me. We're keeping stats now? You guys realize that I'm more or less the Julian Tavarez of this website. Cheating time and death by covering my best pitches with illegal substances.

Look, I know I'm bad but you don't need to rub it in with salt. And lemon. And your Virginia Slim cigarette.

That sounds a lot like my regularly scheduled bowel movements, actually.

I hate you guys. I miss half of the fun by not being able to see the Komen commenters.

"Sergio Ramos dropped the team's fresh Copa del Rey trophy off the top of a promenading bus in Madrid last night."

Dude, don't sweat it. When FF7 came out for the computer I lost my shit. I was in 7th grade and I must have gained 20 lbs. I logged over 99 hours in that game. It stops counting at 99. I'm amazed I lost my virginity when I was 17 and not 28.

Steve_U,

... so there's your explanation for Frank McCourt's mingling with the common folk last Thursday.