My husband got fired from Blockbuster waay back when. One night he was doing the infamous all-night inventory and threw some tapes in the dumpster instead of destroying them because it was like 5 am and he was ready to go the fuck home. One of his wonderful employees got them out of the dumpster, unbeknownst to my…

I had to leave a store once b/c the sales person wouldn’t leave me alone and all I wanted to do was see if I wanted that cute shirt in the window. She tried 3 times to get me to sign up for the store card, all 3 before I even found the price tag of the shirt. After the 3rd time, I told her I was leaving b/c she…

I’ve never seen him and a werewolf in the same room at the same time. Just saying.

LOL you sound like me. If I have a customer show me that I’ve left a beer off their bill, our management has a “give it to them for free if you know them/they are regulars and they tip you well” policy. We get to make that call ourselves. So if I don’t know a customer but they’ve made my night infinitely better by…

If the guy hadn’t been such an obnoxious tool about it, I maybe —maaybeee — would have scrounged up some ketchup and horseradish from the kitchen and made an attempt at conjuring up an off-menu cocktail sauce, because a) it’s literally two ingredients and a spoon and b) amaze and amuse the customers with your magic…

PLEASE go back in time and tell my old managers at Barnes & Noble this because it took a while for my knee to not hurt anymore after working there and I’m young and sprightly, I can’t even imagine how the 50+ year olds we had working there fared.

Ugh, so weird, right? I worked at Barnes & Noble and we weren’t supposed to sit on the floor ever, even if we were shelving the very bottom shelf, only bend (impossible unless you’re a gymnast) or kneel. There was no padding under the carpet, just raw cement, and one of my knees got really fucked up after I’d been…

is it

I worked weekend brunch at a chain restaurant by the mall as a teenager and it was.... i already live in God’s waiting room but then add brunch and the mall and church letting out. I can’t tell you how many times I served tables glasses of water with extra lemon...no....more lemon! Lots of lemon! Just to watch them…

Have you tried the Mexican version of a shrimp cocktail? Coctel de camaron is where it’s at:

dr b you are killing it in the comments on this post. +10 internets.

“your lazy fucking employee is over there stroking out I demand you do something to rectify this offense - such as a free book”

In its simplest form, cocktail sauce is a mixture of ketchup (tomato sauce if you’re in Australia) and grated horseradish. A shrimp cocktail is a portion of chilled cooked shrimp served with cocktail sauce for dipping. Usually, it’s served as an appetizer/starter.

I’ve actually got a nice old people story to add this week!

“What kind of place serves terrible pizza and breakfast, and has an elderly clientele?”

Hell. Your server worked in Hell.

Just so you know, I work at a library and sitting to work on the bottom shelves is the approved “best practice” for the shelver’s ergonomic health. Any complaint from a crazy old lady about a staff member sitting on the floor to shelve would just be met with a fixed smile and nodding followed by a polite explanation…

My favorite regular from my serving days was Mr. Bartle. Never a fuss, tipped well, knew our names and always asked how my college studies were going. When he took a once-in-a-lifetime trip to the Galapagos Islands (in his mid-70s), on his return he came in one afternoon when he knew it would be slow to show us his…

You mean like this gem?

Noone expects the Spanish monogrammed thermos! Their weapon is surprise!