BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK...GAH!

Sports baby odds: good.

In addition to the new rules, if they hit a ball that beams Berman in the face and leaves him bloodied, the entirety of the US national debt will be ceremoniously wiped out.

+1962

Is Blake Griffin going to box Chandler Parsons out of the driveway?

Glendavis Glen Ross.

Next up on Shark Tank is Bob from St Louis with his innovative device that locks up free agents until they can officially sign....

Jordan could always just say “hey sorry Dallas, but I’m signing with the Clippers”. Instead he’s pretending like the Clippers are holding him hostage in his own house so he doesn’t have to say no to anybody.

Meanwhile, Austin Rivers plays a sad game of 1 on 1, alone, at the gym, wondering why none of the cool kids came to his birthday party and all went to Deandre’s instead even though Dad said there’d be a bouncy house and ice cream cake and everything at Austin’s party.

I’m at DeAndre’s house right now and except for the gun and eighteen sticks of dynamite Steve Ballmer’s holding this whole party is pretty chill.

In story with @ramonashelburne we also report Mavs now fear they won’t now get audience with Jordan as Clips have essentially surrounded him.

By saying Cuban declined to comment “on the record”, I am going to assume he admitted OFF THE RECORD that this theory is 100% true. Its the internet, I do what I want.

If Deadspin really wants a comment from Cuban, there’s a theory floating around that you just need to buy him a few drinks.

Blake then took that information and passed it on to the Clippers organization which gave them inside info on what to say to get Deandre back.

Counterpoint: Cuban is awesome and exactly what most of us would be like if we came in to hundreds of millions of dollars.

I agree that it feels like that, but these guys were basically all journeymen for varying lengths. All except Chris Wilcox, who had a sneaky-long career, played for the Wizards at least once.

The anti-hipster hipster response.

Yes, we are beer snobs, in the sense we like to drink and talk about beer. I am sure there is something...comic books, cars, guns, whatever...that you enjoy and talk about with like-minded people. Good for you, good for anyone. No on here is telling you what to drink, so stop being an ass about it, just ignore it if…

Saying you enjoy something isn’t being a snob. Most posts here are simply people giving recommendations. People can drink whatever the fuck they want to drink. You sensitive pussy.

2) Leaving