They were paid by FIFA, not US soccer. Their pay has nothing to do with US viewership. The women’s World Cup still makes a tiny (tiny) fraction of what the men’s World Cup makes. According to yesterday posts/comments on Gawker/Jez, the men’s World Cup makes 56x what the Women’s World cup makes.

I think it’s more likely that the Pats would trot out “Brad Tommy” and just dare the NFL to say something. I have no problem imagining Belichick standing there with a straight face answering every question, “That’s not Tom Brady. That’s Brad Tommy.”

Yeah, 1’s the best: they can walk so you don’t have to carry them everywhere, their personalities are starting to emerge, but they’re also just happy to be with you and do whatever you’re doing. You can sit them on the counter and they just stay there contentedly. Basically it’s like parenting a Muppet.

And goddammit, can we please stop rising for “God Bless America” in the seventh? It’s not the national anthem. I’m not getting off my ass twice in one game to fellate the flag again.

Spend the money on the van. Especially the DVD players. I was like you, and thought “Who the hell do my kids think they are, getting to watch TV while I’m busting my ass up here driving?”. Now I want to put whoever invented the in-car DVD player on the one dollar bill.

I’d love to see mashed avocado guacamole guy’s recipe for tomato sauce:

I plug up one hole in the dyke, another one busts open.

A country missing u.

Maybe they should have sent the team from Regularsizednesia.

“Still, they’re so much better to watch than the shitty Micronesian women’s team.”

Luckily, Micronesia gets as many votes in FIFA as Germany. What a system.

Maybe they could get a shortcut to play for them, like Macronesia.

Micronesia to Host 2026 World Cup!! C’mon, Sepp! One more classic for your encore.

You win some, you lose some. Their bullpen mound may be dangerous, but their lineup sure isn’t.

Glad to see the guy finally caught a break.

That whole NY Mag piece was a waste of space. No original reporting of substance. This whale is long dead and the harpoon sticking out of him bears Greg Howard’s signature in scrimshaw. They should have just paid the kill fee and ran a blurb with links to Greg’s pieces.

I feel like cookie dough is objectively more delicious than cookies. I don’t even feel like this statement is an opinion. Like, cookies are weird and dumb and frequently gross, crumbly pieces of shit (and even at best, they’re just tolerable), while cookie dough is an extension of the joy of the universe.

I am 9 weeks pregnant and have tried to give up BCO due to some serious food aversions but I just can’t turn away.

Still trying to figure out why you hate joy