searingly hot take: burgers

We’re occasionally (though not forcibly, and not all that effectively, as you can see) actively discouraged from tweeting. Which makes sense! But sometimes you just have to fart out 140 characters of stupid bullshit.

There’s no question of firing or anything like that; staffers who don’t tweet are held up as role models.

actually the staff has advised me to “never tweet”

I live alone and still use the incognito window when necessary. Force of habit at this point.

It took Goodell three viewings of Dredd to realize it wasn’t a documentary.

You know what's crazy? He could get that THIS season.

New government campaign: "Smoking while base jumping drunk! Try it—It's the new cool!"

The fewer people who smoke or use tobacco products, the lower health care costs are for everyone.

I’m sure female Uber drivers are just itching to pick up men who pay premiums for female drivers. “My address is 123 Remote Cabin Where Nobody Can Hear You Scream Lane”

Completely agree. I have never understood the mindset that makes a person want to crash the opposition’s rally/event and act like an obnoxious ass. I’m NOT a Trump fan but those people have the right to their opinions just as much as the “protestor” does. I’m also NOT a Hillary fan but, quite frankly, I have better…

You have the legal right to be there and support the messaging of the candidates.

You are on a subblog. This subblog has almost nothing to do with sports. Head to deadspin.com and avoid anything that says adequate man or the concourse and you should be fine. But you already knew that.

If you attend more than one rally for your candidate, unless you're being paid to do so or it's your job, you're too invested in him/her and should re-evaluate your priorities.

Seeing a protestor-supporter altercation at a Trump rally is a great way for me to identify two people who are part of the world’s douchebag contingent to avoid at all costs.

I can’t help but feel like the Texans would have been better off paying RG3 half of the money they committed to Brock Osweiler (or less) and pairing him with Lamar Miller and DeAndre Hopkins. On top of Osweiler not showing a whole lot last season in an offense with a lot of dynamic playmakers, that’s the type of…

“How about that Ryan Leaf guy? He was drafted the same year as Peyton right? But comes with much less wear and tear!”

“We are pleased to announce the re-signing of Johnny Manziel. As you know, Johnny recently was in rehab for 17 minutes and he met with Coach Jackson and pinkie swore to stay away from any alcohol or fast women. With his track record, we see no reason not to believe this sacred promise.”

Angle fared better than the last guy who was in the ring with Mysterio.

It’s like a throwback to the original “Ultimate Fighting” where there were no weight classes, sanctioning or sanity.