Sign for a kid, he sells it on ebay once.  Dunk on a kid, he has a bar story for life.

Damn, huge matchup issues for that scorpion. It’s one thing to have immunity to its sting. Turning the venom into a painkiller is just a fuck-you to your opponent.

Rob Gronkowski says he couldn’t sleep for weeks after a fairly routine hit in the Super Bowl

I know where he is coming from, I got a charlie horse the other day, and despite the pain and my body screaming at me to stop, I kept at it and finished that bucket of chicken.

Now that he is done with football, Luck can try and spend his time getting back to his love of remembering things clearly. 

The dialogue at the end even sounded like they cut around the bounty hunter’s name being mentioned.... they are keeping him a cypher and it is great.

Not sure if there's a Sox article coming so I'll just leave this here: The Boston Red Sox have by far the highest payroll in the majors and are a flaming pile of feces. To all the people in my childhood who whined and whined and WHINED about the Yankees buying championships, Fuck You. That is all. 

I feel like a more appropriate headline would be “Does kawhi leonard want?”

Not sure whether I’m more excited about my Reds hoisting the trophy or Deadspin not calling them “the Pool Boys” in this article.

“Hey, Steve, how did the man who survived pancreatic cancer through homeopathy cross the road? Give up? In a coffin. Because he’s dead. You get it? Steve? Steve? Where are you going? I’ve got more jokes.”

Everyone in the video tried to save him from Consequences. But he was really demanding a Consequence. 

Nothing is better than seeing a black woman look a white racist thug in the fucking eye and then proceeding to smash the shit out of it with her fist.

There aren’t enough poop jokes in this blo . . . oh wait.

Sergio Ramos has an open invitation to eat all my my farts until the day he dies. Fuck Sergio Ramos.

I usually love Quill but he was toe curling here, mostly.

If Deadspin doesn’t become a site devoted to gifs of sad Celtics fans for the next few days, we riot

The entire strength and conditioning staff needs to go. I think we’ve passed the point of “bad luck” and entered into the realm of “definite trend of some kind”.

It is time we stop singing any patriotic songs at sports games. No other country sings their national anthem before every single (non-international) sporting event no matter how inconsequential. God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch just plain sucks.  

All Meghan McCain is going to do is cry and mention her dad tomorrow and all will be forgiven. Because White women’s tears run the world and, despite underwhelming mediocrity, their proximity to the highest powers will always keep them at the table.