Sounds like your kids are going to have some pretty bad sunburns.

Should have drank more water.

What a lazy joke.

“special kind of stupid”

Fact: Carol already has a file from IT with your browser history and comments.

I’m 100% here for this list.

You ain’t telling a lie my friend...

That’s a shadow my friend.

The index, middle, and ring finger on the “after” picture are still 2/3rds black. That’s...not right.

Would’ve been funnier if the conversation with the pearl-clutching beat “reporter” didn’t go like this:

I don’t know why people would trust him after he tried to ruin Christmas.

There’s a woman I went to school with who posted a status update about a year ago that she had finally fulfilled her lifelong dream, one that she had nurtured throughout her childhood in an incredibly poor African country. That dream? To go to a service at Lakewood fucking Church. The top of my head blew clear off

That header image. Oof. How anyone can believe this man or give him a buck is well beyond me.

I just have one question: IS TORMUND FUCKING GIANTSBANE ALIVE?!?!?! I NEED TO KNOW. NOTHING MATTERS TO ME AS MUCH AS THAT RIGHT NOW

Where did the Moose touch you?

Probably the same way his parents criminally entered that ‘e’ in there.

Back in my day, players didn’t need coddling. Hell, that little league pitcher Danny Almonte wouldn’t even drive his children on the team for ice cream after losses.

Cue Chris Rock:

I scrolled past a video of Tina Fey on weekend update talking about the terrorist attack in Virginia saying “who drove the car, Hillary’s emails?!”