Or one extra-large terrorist. Or four very tiny terrorists. The possibilities are endless!

And your guitarist could put a whole hoard of handguns in his amp. Hell, every insturment case except for the flute or piccolo could hold a couple weapons (even if searched, you could put them under the cushion).

Yeah we tried the “go high” approach- how did that work?

Three pistols and 60 rounds in magazines, as far as anyone knows.

Honestly, I think I’d FILL my clear bag with tampons, condoms, hemorrhoid cream, Nickleback cds, lube, and other assorted sundries just to make the clear-bag-decision-makers uncomfortable.

I feel pretty confident I could hide a hand gun in a pencil case.

This is such a beautiful sentence; I’m a little verklempt.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg would stomp a mud hole in Donnie like Yoda on crack.

I would gladly sit and watch Kate brush her teeth for two hours, so count me in.

Joe, I’d rather see you properly apologize to Anita Hill and all of her supporters first. Yes, seriously.

Biden will snatch his wig off and it’s over in less than a minute.

Fight Club is actually a good movie, in part because it’s an intentional subversion of what most dorm-room idiots think it is.

That’s monstrous. Unsurprising but no less goddamn horrific. I’m so sorry that your aunt and her partner went through that. And I’m just so sorry for your aunt’s loss. You give her a great gift as she leans on you and moves through her grief. Wishing you both strength, support, and healing.

I’m so down for anything with Kate McKinnon in it and I don’t hate Mila Kunis, so I will watch this some day.

They are the same, except in all the ways they aren’t, which is all of them.

The male Deadspin writers and I are certain that Hillary’s Goldman Sachs speeches would have led her administration to do the exact same thing.

I still can’t believe him holding up a fucking flag was enough. Said jack shit about what he would do for the LGBT community, no mention of putting anything on congress’ domestic agenda, no word on what Obama-era protections and executive orders he’d continue, Nope! Flag, bro! More than enough! Mike who? Vice…

Here’s a fun/infuriating fact: I was just reading at work today about a new study that found that lesbian and bisexual women have significantly higher risk of cardiovascular disease than straight women. So. Excellent timing, guys. Way to help worsen outcomes for queer women. You’re really doing God’s work, you…

Shut up Fight Club is great despite its bro-ish following.