I had to look up “pendleton”. It’s a Hudson’s Bay blanket. I had no idea there was an American knock-off!

Exactly. This menorah makes a mockery of my beloved lord and saviour, Challah.

Um, I think that’s a Pez dispenser, not a lollipop.

I think we invented passive aggressive behaviour in Canada.

I usually just dig out my old goth club clothes and put on extra batwing make-up and say I’m ‘my former self’. Does that count?

Also important: Imaginary people built the Ark. Real, live, actual people built the Titanic.

“What in the name of high school football?”

I don’t really know, but I suspect it has something to do with having a lot of free time.

And here we are, in 2015, still putting rolling-eyes quotes around “pagan church”, one of the very few religions in this world that doesn’t encourage hatred, violence and subjugation. Pagans still be all “ok, whatevs, I’ll do my thing and you do yours” and yet it’s totally cool to snicker at them.

Get me outta here before I murder someone!

Famous psychotic divas, they’re just like you and me!

How banal.

Oh stop it with your silly science nonsense! If I don’t believe it’s possible, then my feeeelings are vaaaalid!

Maybe if Sophia and her friends had easy access to cheap birth control, we wouldn’t need this facile and patronising story.

So Kevin O’Leary and that other Canadian guy (?) are now on the American version of Dragon’s Den? O’Leary must have such a boner to be on American TV, one step closer to his Tea Party heroes.

I dunno, man, Sweden and Denmark are pretty great too.

“while protecting our most vulnerable – the unborn”

Once she revealed herself to be flat-out crazy I knew it couldn’t be the real Anna.

Fuck this remake. There is absolutely no need. The original was perfect.

Please don’t speak for me.