My labrador retriever has a better grasp on foreign relations than Trump.

Nice.

I frequently have people (always men, but I work in a male dominated field) tell me to ‘smile, you look so sad/serious/mad’. I’m at work, I’m not exactly thrilled to be here. What the hell am I supposed to look like?

Talk less, smile more. Right?

When your lawyer needs a lawyer, you know shit is about to get real.

I thought this too.

Who hasn’t, really?

Why not Clint? He’s attractive and they obviously have chemistry.

Go Mom go!

I’ll say once, for his birthday.

Yikes! I had forgotten about that guy.

When Chris say Trump is hyperbolic, he really means he is a straight up lying motherfucker.

I see what you did there. Take your star.

THIS. People lack fundamental understanding of how government operates.

Government employees pay social security taxes. They also pay into their pension funds.

Ok bathing suit experts at Jezebel. I need a rashguard hip enough for my 13 year old daughter to wear (she is a red head and fries like bacon without one) that won’t destroy my credit card, because she is a teenager and likely to refuse to wear it after 2 weeks. Help.

This seems like a conflict of interest, but maybe it’s just me.

What the actual fuck? Really?

Potato cakes dipped in Arby’s sauce are so delicious it should not be legal.