Painted with a nice fresh coat of Soviet surplus rust.

After they got about 30ft away the dental floss connecting their cups broke and communication was lost. They’re all just chillin submerged 30ft from dock trying to send carrier pigeons but they keep drowning. Fuckin pigeons.

It’s no wonder his chicken parm sandwiches look so sloppily prepared.

What is this win you speak of?

This post is bad and you should feel bad.

How to calculate a trade-in value like the average car shopper:

9 top tens in 19 tries. 6 top fives. 3 times a runner up. Even though he’s so young, this was a long time coming.

I’ve flown enough turboprop and jets to know you have no idea what you’re talking about.

I remember getting these kinda trophies and thinking they were crap. NPR had a story a while back saying most kids know and it hurts their self esteem because they know they didn’t earn it.

So they’re basically Kickstartering the LA franchise.

I ride year round, commute daily, and ride canyons. I love motorcycles. I also hate idiots who run straight pipes, no mufflers, or delete their catalytic converters. The sound isn’t nicer, just louder and obnoxious. It give serious motorcyclist a bad rap we don’t deserve. It is a clear sign that the rider is a selfish…

I'd argue that your average Jalopnik buys less - or buys only used, which amounts to nothing as far as manufacturers are concerned.

Fake exhaust tips like on the IS F:

Maybe those "Rolling Coal" truck guys could offer some suggestions.

It’s almost like paying people to beat the shit out of other humans is a bad idea.

I wish i had a few million dollars sitting around so I could buy Jalopnik from Gawker and end this shit show. We’d never have to read a Jezebel headline about periods, or micro-penises, or finding poop on your thong, or what disney characters’ dicks would look like ever again.

I found out long ago that you can write highly technical pieces while still allowing someone new to the subject matter to feel like:

Good to see that Kluwe was able to find work in the NFL again.