I guess it takes all kinds of critters to make farmer Vincent’s fritters.

Silly plan.  It needs a Triumph Rocket III engine.  

(click “play” for the full force of the joke)

What does a criminal cop have to do to be treated like a criminal by cops?

Please forgive the late 60's fashion and my creepy stare. I’m not stealing your soul; I promise.

There is a strong belief among the religious right that “Jesus is coming” (obviously) and that for Jesus to come back Israel has to exist to first be destroyed by God. Israel doing shitty things actually backs up their beliefs.

My understanding is the Oscars are little different.  Back stage is like an open bar party, and they have people to come fill seats for the ones that go up on stage.  So you go on stage, pick up a metal dude, go back stage and get hammered while they take it away from you to go get engraved and people take pictures of…

I’ve worked in industry on and off my whole life where hearing protection was required. Ear plugs don’t bother me in the least.  I wear in-the-ear Blutooth headphones most of the time though.  They’re not as good as foamies, but good enough for most environments.  If it’s really noisy I have ear muffs too.  Ear Muffs…

I will note that he actually does want to move, but real estate prices are so ridiculous around here these days that he basically can’t. His house is paid off (30 year mortgage he paid off in 20 years) but there’s nothing out there he could buy today that’s much better than what he has for the same price, so he’d have…

I bought my car new in 2006 and it has been all but trouble free. One rear wheel bearing went bad on me, which took me about 20 minutes and $45 to fix.

My Great Grandmother had one of those in the 70's! It was really cool, and ancient. It’s long gone though.

(Actually, all beer has yeast in it.  “Beer Bread” is leavened by the yeast in beer.  So I would suggest if that really is your problem you probably shouldn’t try it.)

More than one US politician has as well, which usually results in incoherent screams of “antisemitism!”

Sigh.  Yeah, I blame my parents and grandparents.  Diabetes runs in both sides of the family, although I think I’m the youngest to be diagnosed.

I dunno. I just know it’s the origin of the term “pound cake.” I’ve never had the courage to try it, although Isaac’s Haircut’s version (above) might be interesting to try.

It’s such a versatile recipe. I used it to make a blueberry upside down cake once for a potluck once, and suddenly I had groupies.

I work in a scrap metal yard (driving in and out, actually) and at least five or six semi-trailer loads of nothing but appliances comes in and gets dumped in the pile going to the shredder every day. Refrigerators and washers and dryers and stoves and microwaves. Everything you can imagine. These things are half…

I have a new neighbor directly below me who moved in last night. My previous neighbor there had lived there for 16 years. He was a great neighbor, although as a person he was a bit annoying. He was super quiet, which is good since this place has a thin floor. The most noise he ever made was once in a while he’d crank…

Have you ever tried making a real pound cake? A pound of butter, a pound of flour, a pound of eggs, and a pound of sugar? (Plus salt and baking powder) I’ve never tried it, but it differs so much from my pound cake recipe that I’m dubious it would be edible. (That’s a lot of eggs!)

It’s worse than you think. Mostly with the grocery store stuff stay away from anything with High Fructose Corn Syrup in it, which isn’t difficult these days. I like Oroweat Italian for sandwiches, but anything made with white flour has a bad glycemic index.  And potatoes.  And white rice. And I loathe whole wheat…