Barbaro is rolling over in his Elmer’s bottle. 

I honestly didn’t think you could keep up all those puns furlong. 

I wonder how they could Justfy these actions. I would hope they get more than a Citation from the Secretariat responsible. This type of Assault on horse racing ethics cannot be Affirmed.

“Fuck yeah it does!”

America’s last great vice? What about voting against one’s self interest? That still seems to turn a lot of people on.

finally an answer to the eternal hockey question of whether a good center makes his wings great, or vice versa

In 8th grade, I broke both bones in my arm near the wrist and formed a nice ‘Z’.  Luckily it did not break the skin so there was no blood, but it hurt a teeny bit, especially when they pulled it back into shape.

It looks like a bloody lowercase “Z,” if that helps you sharpen your imagination.

Shit I’d do it tomorrow if they could make my car payments. 

“Heroes don’t act that way, people said,” Dale Robertson reported in the Houston Post, with a heaping of wryness. “Davy Crockett wouldn’t have asked for a raise at the Alamo. Shame, shame.”

“Stewart told reporters that Campbell had recently met with the financially troubled, scooter-confined former heavyweight fighter Joe Louis and that Campbell had told Stewart, “I don’t want to end up like Joe Louis.””

Lay off the Provel, man.

At least he cheats the right way.

Amir Garrett’s that friend you’re happy you have but you kind of wish wasn’t your friend.

Mark my words, this little douche will run for office one day. In Florida. And he’ll win, bc Florida loves them some douche.

Was Grayson Allen in the Cobra Kai at some point ?

I actually get more of a Brett Kavanaugh vibe from him.

Really, you just need to look at his background to see where this stuff comes from:

At what point do we accept that this guy is who he is, which is Ted Cruz?

“reasonable Boston sports fan” too unrealistic even for this list