The last thing I remember before they put me out was one of the nurses commenting that she didn't like Don Rickles and I said, "watch it, I like Don Rickles"! Then I was out. Wouldn't it have been sad if the last thing I did on earth was defend Don Rickles?

I got my "reward" for reaching 50 two weeks ago - a colonoscopy. The procedure isn't bad, but the day before...!!! I was fighting with the doctor because he wouldn't release me for work for 24 hours. As they were about to put me under I told him a true story about seeing an old Tonight Show clip with Don Rickles…

Bro, if you put Red Bull in your "bowel" you might be running, but not the way you'd like! :)

True. Also, if they walked into a showroom and saw a 200 and a 25 they might add them and think they'd gone back in time and were at a Buick dealership.

They approached me but, I still have two years left on my exclusive Jalopnik commenting contract.

Shouldn't the 500 be a 25 or a 50? Chrysler buyers today aren't too sharp so a car smaller than the 300 and 200 being called a 500 is likely to confuse them. I hope they have totally separate showrooms.

Do you realize that if moonshiners had possessed all those items there would be no NASCAR?

When my sister gets mad at me she still throws it up in my face that my parents got me an electric typewriter and a clock radio when I went off to college and she got neither.

...assuming that the person has a valid reason for measuring moving speeds of objects

My school was tough. Not only did I once get in a fight during typing class, we used manual typewriters.

I forgot the Javits Center is on the new Monopoly game, how many hotels did you have to trade for it?

I never realized how much your work was like high school math class.

I think this was Mercedes' clever way of being sure they had enough people to push the car onto the stage.

Even a car with a high beltline and small windows, like the Chrysler 300, makes me edgy.

This question was easy. When I was a little kid I was was walking down the sidewalk near my house and two guys in an old Hudson tried to abduct me. These cars still make my skin crawl.

The Malibu has really matured. Back in the 60's this much cheap, plastic wood was reserved for the Caprice.

It's oddly appealing.

Cars like this make me glad I'm an American where low import duties mean we don't have to buy shit like this.

I'm going with Horace Dodge. According to Wiki: Regardless of their wealth and growing influence in the business community, because of the brothers' crude manners and aggressive conduct, they were regarded as socially unacceptable by most of the well-heeled elite of Detroit. They were so rich that the "well-heeled…

Ray's contribution reminded me of an old joke from the early 80's. An American car dealer got on his knees and begged God to make him a foreign car dealer. The next morning he woke-up a Chrysler dealer in Tokyo.