Also out of shape and gimpy?

"Slashing" on ice is also much better than "slashing" in Filipino Prison.

This Anonymous guy that didn't bang Christine O'Donnell is pretty darned interesting!

@Phintastic: As I sit here supervising detention, that comment got me grinning.

"The Irish have 25 losses over the past 3½ seasons"

That's a pretty good courtroom sketch of Charlie Sheen's upcoming trial.

"received their rings and started their defense"

Huh. I guess Robert Pickton's victims were all Arkansas fans.

Well that explains all the blood at the last Sorority Formal...

"Ask any American about Russia. You know what they'll say."

Glad he's growing accustomed to this type of medical treatment, seeing as how his next team will probably be the Argonauts.

Bill Simmons is already producing a documentary on this feat as part of his "Thirsty for Thirty" series.

"He makes a shithead play, then grabs an assorted body part"

My only religious experience with Madden was when I confused him with Buddha.

"I know damn well no one cares about the Titans or Jaguars."

I see that Deadspin chose to focus on the 2/5 that got hurt...rather than counting 3/5 for the purposes of representation.

" I remember hitting running back Tim Biakabutuka in the hole and I heard that racket ball court echo...."

The 1950's were so modest that this photo was originally featured in SI's "Athlete Dong" column.

@ClintonPortishead: That dialogue is how I picture every single conversation on the Goldman Sachs trading floor in '91.

I'm not sure that BusinessInsider is prepared for the comic stylings of ClintonPortisHead.