Where have you gone Jozy Altidore? A nation turns it's lonely eyes to you

That's 'cause in the last year or two, the Black Keys have been getting the Big Label push. Before their music was in every Starbucks, used in adverts & ubiquitous on the radio, few folks knew who they were. Now, the common reaction is 'Those guys?!? They sound like a third-rate ZZ Top cover band!!', which is accurate.

...I should amend that description to include "who also like to look back wistfully at a time in America that never existed".

...because Bruce's audience has always been paunchy, middle-aged, white douchebags who's best years happened sometime in the early-to-mid 80's, which is the exact profile of most sports writers (present company excluded of course).

Tim Howard is the fucking man!

all takedowns should be this eloquent

I thought ESPN was something you only watched when you have no other alternative, like being stuck in an airport bar waiting for a connecting flight that's been delayed or an elevator in hell that has flat screen TV's. People actually take this shit seriously?!?

That and the bar at the Beverly Wilshire is apparently the 7th circle of hell

So don't watch. Problem solved. Next!

Someone's angling for a gig at Grantland

Betsy Ross was a sex maniac?!?

He had enough time & space to look up & maybe even take a step & STILL bury that fucking ball in the net!!!

BTW Dave Grohl was trolling before trolling was cool.

'Lana and the Nietzsche-ian Implications of Starfucking Fat, Middle-Aged Axl Rose Without His Wig' was always my fav.

Chin up mate, folks in LA all have veneers.

In his defense, he's squirting that water into the Stanley Cup

See : Romelu Lukaku getting knocked out cold scoring on a header and staying in the match.

Not to be out done by every yabbo with a GoPro mounted to their helmet, blocking traffic, popping wheelies on the freeway.

ESPN.

Rangers fans blamed it on the refs.