In Florida of ALL places, weed should be legal. Hell, mandatory...

Could be worse.

How the hell did 'Bay Area TechHoles'not make this list?

These guys should run the Knicks

...,and the 'fat lady singing' is Marty Broduer...

Need help here: back when Jags was on the Rangers, during a live post-game interview on a national NBC broadcast, one of his teammates said "Yeah, Jags, Jags, Jags. He's always talking a lot of shit."

Nyet.

.....which brings the median age of the ESPN on air staff down significantly, to just over 64 1/2....

Could be worse.
Could be the 76ers.

The tykes enjoy MLB 'cause they like watching Grandpa on TV

Don't sweat it, Bobby.
Anyone who reads Deadspin knows when it comes to soccer coverage:

Tim Panaccio at least knows a little bit about the game. The ones that actively tried to run Bryz out of Philly were beat writers/click bait trolls Sam Carchidi & Frank Seravalli with their "Wow, he's Rusdian! He's weird! His teammates don't like him! The team lost, blame the goalie!" story line they STILL beat into…

We started a new drinking game. Everytime that hack Mike Emrick crows "Oh MY!", everyone drinks. We were hammed halfway through the first.

This is a ploy by NBC to have one of their sponsors rush in and deliver it right before the puck drop on national television.

Nelson said the running back seemed "focused, cheerful and very wise."

Any decent, caring, person would've walked up to him and informed him that his god doesn't really exist.

Douchebaggery being my area if expertise, I'd like to inform you good sir that you are indeed spot-on in your analysis. The Double Hand Shocker is indeed the telltale universal sign of the douchebag.

Can we just skip to the part where this fuckwad is divorced, pennyless from his painkiller addiction, living in a crack hotel, his hands shaking involuntarily from irreparable brain damage?

Well, she seems delightful. Not at all full of herself.

Guess we'll have to wait until Fleury's backup replaces him in the 2nd period to see what his mask looks like....