Growing up in Toronto through the 00's meant your hometown hockey, baseball, and basketball teams were all terrible. There were the two World Series in 92 and 93 that I experienced as a child with no appreciation it didn’t happen all the time. But, there were two rocks in my sports-loving life: Mats Sundin and Doc…

“Stealer Steals Steeler’s Wheels” was sitting right there. All you had to do was grab it.

This contradictory, inflammatory rhetorical monstrosity has nine punctuation marks and only two are used properly.

Brent Burns has one season taking 40% of his team’s shots and now he’s the best defenceman? No. It was, and is Karlsson. He’s better defensively, in transition, and on offence. He skates better, passes better, and is more effective positionally in pinning teams in their zone.

This. Is. Bullshit.

How many times do you say “cuck” in an average day?

Dave Poulin said something stupid? I, for one, am shocked.

Losing Leipsic would be a lot worse if he could play anything resembling defence. Kid can score, no doubt. But with Nylander, Marner, JVR, Bracco, Johnsson and so on at wing, they aren’t really hurting for scoring wingers. They probably wold have preferred to lose Rychel, but it shouldn’t matter that much.

Counterpoint: skill is skill irrespective of the arena. Chess is a skill game, whether you play it on a physical board or via computer.

The common Canadian refrain is you have to “find another gear” in the playoffs. What the past two years have demonstrated is Crosby has a gear that, if pushed, cannot be matched by opposing teams, let alone opposing players. Nashville’s defense is superb. Their individual talent and skill levels are exceptional. They…

Dude was a lawyer, Deputy AG, and Director of the FBI. He’s smart, get over it.

Since when did they start slapping Benz rims on the Buick Enclave?

While this is, I feel, largely correct, painting “white people” with the same brush is its own antagonization I’m sure you’re trying to avoid. You have friends and allies on this side of the fence, too.

The TEAM THAT SUSPENDED HIM is Canadian. Holy shit this is asinine.

I didn’t realize that when you play away from home your ownership, fans, and national origin instantly change.

Breaking: Toronto is, in fact, not in America.

If ducks don’t want their lives to be so difficult they should stop being so delicious.

Thats certainly one interpretation. I don’t believe it’s the pertinent one, though, because it’s not consistent with the tone or context of the joke.

The trade looks like it always has: Edmonton did not get enough value in return. Hall was, over the previous five years, third to only Ovechkin and Benn in production at left wing, and he was playing with bums. Larsson was a guy. A good guy, but a guy nonetheless. Not having got a draft pick and prospect, along with…

OK, I’m going to try to clear this up: