#Texans coach Bill O’Brien describes WR DeAndre Hopkins as taking a “personal day,” explaining why he wasn’t at practice today

Yeah it was certainly dumbfuckery all around

Wow I missed that part. Terrible.

there are costs for crossing Jerry Jones

Jesus Christ. I am an EMT and just about spit my beer up reading this. ANYONE halfway trained in emergency medicine would have put him on a spinal board and transported him with sirens to a hospital asap. Sitting upright in a fucking van?!?

Even more Deadspin middle finger posts! Great week for the birds.

It has been a great week for middle fingers on Deadspin. Keep it up. Both of them.

Yeah so sloppy. I remember watching the 2002 wc USA-Germany game at a watch party at the stadium when I was a high school senior. And now I’m just a junior in coll...oh fuck, Oliver Kahn has been retired for ten years.

Thou shall not kova thy neighbor’s coach.

That was like a backyard finish when you were 10 and just made shit up to keep playing until you had to go inside for dinner.

Toffee Toddler Triggers Traore

This Chinese man and his family recently traveled all the way from their home near the Taiwan border

Sellout. Buck is such a Son of the Beach.

Stadium music is going to be lame now that MC Escher isn’t allowed in.

“Austin Athletic” sounds like a local used sporting goods store where a 5'7" 45 year old that was 3rd string linebacker in high school still wears ill-fitting St. Xavier HS polo shirts and all the boxing equipment smells like ass.

Bradley should never captain the team again. Not only is he terribly ineffective as a player 50% of the time, it was his job to get the 11 motivated. They fucking walked through seventy minutes last night. Inexcusable.

WHAT ARE WE DOING? Not Russian women in 2018. Thanks Team USA.

Well, Simba became king because of who his dad was too.

Man Mark Sanchez did some weird A/V stuff in college.

3. [On sucking one’s own cock]: “‘I’m not Steve Bannon, I’m not trying to suck my own cock,’ he said, speaking of Trump’s chief strategist. ‘I’m not trying to build my own brand off the fucking strength of the President. I’m here to serve the country.’”