I’m going to be a unicorn veterinarian. You just work with them for three years and then you get a magical medical certificate.

When a person crosses into a country claiming refugee status they cannot be arbitrarily detained on the basis of seeking asylum or deported while their case is being investigated. Not meeting the guidelines of a well-founded fear on one of the Convention grounds will likely mean a claim for refugee status fails but it…

Yep, the rest of that sentence should be “I still don’t see women as equals worthy of respect.”

Or- 7. Why are the police so fucking useless that they haven’t been able to stop repeated package thefts in the area since 1978?

God I hate it when men use the car theft example as a comparison for sexual violence happening to women. Their point being if you leave valuables in your car it’s partially your fault for them being stolen which is bullshit. A car thief doesn’t have a legitimate“left valuables in the car where I could see…

Yes! And, following your parenthood example, the third thing is people who aren’t even parents weighing in with their useless opinions. They have no idea what they’re talking about, have never been in that position and they still need to say something condescending.

Call the plumber, my eyes just sprang a leak.

After reading several of Jordan’s articles to figure out what flavour of imbecile he was, this article was very soothing.

Queen Victoria actually walked her daughters down the isle.

Maybe the contract had a public douchebag clause?

Those shorts are giving Mel what New Zealanders would call “a cut lunch.”

One of the most awkward times was after I completed basic training in the army and we had to fly in our class A uniforms to our specialized training school and everyone in the airport was thanking us for our service. What service? I just played Rambo in the woods of South Carolina for a few weeks.

Does she think all we do is admin stuff?

Well, this probably won’t be too much of a surprise but the Coast Guard is also a horrible cesspit of rape and abuse. I was raped by a coworker and just managed to get out with an honorable discharge.

ALunarEllipsis has suffered the burden of correcting the native speakers of Spanish for too long. Why don’t they understand that he has a Master’s from Middelbury and has never made a mistake in his life? It’s not his fault that he is perfecto in every way and that his pedos tienen el olor de flores. He once invited…

My daughter was about a week old when I stood over her crib weeping, “She’s gotten so big! She’ll be going off to college soon.”

For me it was her duet with Judy Garland and her role in Yentl.

It’s in the same category as “down there” so I bet she thought about it.

Yeah or “my no no.”

How about “crotchticular region?”