This may be my new favorite form of a book review.

I am in the ninth month on my fourth pregnancy and this time around I have had really low blood pressure which means I feel light headed and often vomit in the morning.

Some of us are made to feel ethnocentric by the sorts of people who would say, "who are we to place our Western beliefs on others?"

I loved Lois Duncan'd books so hard and now all those fond middle school memories will be shat upon by a bunch of angsty and breathless sparkle teens whose dialogue will cause me secondary embarrassment.

Yes! Same here! Our church leaders must have met at an interfaith conference and decided this would be the official story in order to keep the kids off the demon drink.

Don't make me start hoarding Pantene!

I keep a few cans of chinga tu madre in the pantry just in case.

No Hispanics hired at a place called "Taco Bell." Yeah that seems reasonable.

Yes. They are the hip, cool, intellectual, women in the priesthood, gays are okays church.

I loved Sita Sings the Blues by the same gal. This one is good too.

The next obvious question: Is the Satanic Temple hiring?

I don't think her daughter needs to disclose her cause of death. She was 103. That's enough of an explanation for me.

That music sounds like some early John Tesh.

Still though, this ad was made by the same Australian guy who brought us "missing Missy" and I love it.

Concept decoder:

But her sexy naked wrists are tempting me!

I love Dolly Parton so much. I went to Dollywood when I was younger and it was magical.

Yes, after she was pushed out of the window.

Is it the pushing someone out the window thing?

Cow 1: Girl what's he saying?