Every single time I see a picture of this face, a quiet little voice inside me goes “ugh, shut the fuck up.”

Shit, I didn’t even think about making that joke.

I hated hipsters before it was cool to hate hipsters.

I’m 48. I’m drinking tonight because clearly I have nothing to lose, having outlived all possible expectations.

I just have to breathe and smile at the thought that the current twenty year olds will get to be 35, 45, and will get the same shit from their juniors.

She's 33. I'm a little terrified now that you called that middle aged.

Actually, his character in Young Guns(and Young Guns 2), Chavez y Chavez, is half Mexican and half-Native American.

i actually did start crying, because she (SHE) started saying “when women hit thirty...”, “metabolism just slows down”, and my favorite “this just happens” and then she told me not to cry because it was a part of life. never have i felt more helpless and humiliated.

Firstly, FAB! name! Now I have Tig & Taylor D in my head :)

She reminds me more of Katie Findley.

I assume the protagonist just prays for the murderer to reveal himself and then when he does you don’t lock him up because he said Jesus already forgave him.

Instead of shutting down the government, which won’t work, maybe they should just go to the source of the problem and shut down every woman’s credit cards and bank accounts. Then they can put us in red robes and give us to men who will make better decisions for us than we silly walking wombs can. Any lady who revolts…

SHAKING BAD

Polaroids. For the mouth part of your face.

“Slurry” is simultaneously one of my favorite and least-favorite words of all time. Thank you for using it in this context.

some time in the mid-90s I fell out of my bunk bed and hit my head. My parents took me to the ER, and the doctors asked me various questions to determine my mental status. One of them was “Who’s in charge at the White House?” I deadpanned “Hillary” and had the whole ER laughing. I was seven or eight.

Goddamn it LOGAN!

yes - a helicopter tour.

Who goes out on a first date in a big forest alone? That screams “YOU WILL BE MURDERED” to me.