I believe that that is indeed the sincerest (and most appropriate) corporate response to any customer complaint, ever.

That seemed like a legitimate and reasonable response to a terrible mistake.

The fact that I don’t understand what is even happening with that is ruining my day.

If you’re taking a New Yorker’s advice on Mexican food, you deserve a mouthful of mealy green peas.

lol Those foot pads were hilarious. It was just a chemical reaction with your perspiration that made them turn colors.

And I thought this day was going to be dull.

i’m just getting the feeling that they aren’t nice people

Seems like a reasonable group. I’m glad we’re taking a passive approach.

cool it with the harsh language dude

“Do your parents know you gals are here”

“...Stair has since deleted his Facebook account...”

AT LEAST ROSE PETAL LADY WAS GLORIOUS LIKE A WOODLAND NYMPH!!!

Holy fuck, I am seriously dying. That is amazing. I hope whoever did that gets a raise.

1. True. The pot must be watched, or else it becomes an unwatched pot. The boiling becomes secondary, as we know it’ll boil regardless.

I suggested a app called (this name is up for revision) “Tinder for couples to find other couples not for kinky stuff but just cool other couples to hang out with because we need some mutual friends who live in this city”

Seriously, it’s only there if you want to see it. Today someone put up a picture a kid had drawn of a ‘guitar’ that I thought looked like a lit candle and everyone else thought looked like a penis. They kept giggling, but I mainly saw candle.

i don’t care what anyone says THIS IS FUCKING FANTASTIC

For real...covering it in flowers is just gonna turn an innocuous crease into some Anne Geddes shit

Wow. It’s almost like abstinence-only education doesn’t actually work. Who knew?