I want to make this comment my best friend and cook baked beans with it over a fire at the railyard.

At least they waited till she got home to take her car. I’m a glass half full kind of guy.

As a small business owner, I really hate haggling. I’ve just found that in general, the hagglers are also the customers that hassle you to get things done faster and are the most picky in general.

Now, I don’t mind the “If I buy 3 of these can you give me a deal,” types, but the “Can you do it for $50?” when the…

Darude - Sandstorm

I misread that as Texas at first and didn’t question the hate, just the why.

“If it’s old enough to bleed...” -Curt Schilling

Don’t blame me, I’m voting Meteor.

It will sound very informative even if it’s not.

See, I’m sure it’s informative, but then I’d have to listen to Malcolm fucking Gladwell.

Where’s the physical evidence? I can’t even eat Cheetos without being covered in dust, never mind being groped by one...

Players born in foreign countries to American parents are just as American as anyone born within the country.

Says “words have meanings”... calls them “’metal’ of honor winners”

If he didn’t want to be tackled by her, he shouldn’t have been dressed like that

Getting tackled by a girl is nothing to be ashamed of. Now getting tackled by a kicker...

Oh, Ted Cruz. Just when you thought your humiliation was over, things get even worse. You deserve it.

Typical left-wing pinko liberal media bias tactics #101: quote people accurately.

The man failed miserably selling gambling, football, and steak.

They said Ivorian-Scot, not Rwandan-Scot.

Hi!