I have to write this down before I forget.

I like the theory that I’ve seen online where they stopped filming because their family is about to go through something they don’t want filmed.

No, this is not your fault. When I wanted to die, nothing anyone else could have said to me would have made any kind of difference. I had to decide for myself that I didn’t want to die. Being suicidal is as alone as you can get, not in a I’ve-been-abandoned way, but in an I’m-the-only-one-who-can-make-this-decision…

In the case of a person’s death, unless you murdered them or caused their death by direct complete and utter neglect—it is not your fault. Not your fault. It is your brain trying anything to claw at something stable or static in the blender that is grief. It’s irrational, and useless, and hurtful, but it makes more…

It’s not your fault.

This is the perspective that’s so often missing from discussions like this. You’ve articulated it perfectly. This letter writer should never have been in the position they were in. Our parent’s marriages are not our responsibility and, to a much greater extent than many people are capable of recognizing, they’re often…

You were not responsible for your parent’s marriage. You were not responsible for your dad’s affair. You were not appointed, nor expected to be, your parent’s marriage counselor. You are their CHILD, not an unbiased professional. You are not responsible for your father failing to reach to your mother because that was…

Yeah, completely not your fault. And just because your mother now knowing what happened says that she wishes he reached out doesn’t mean that she would have reacted positively or that things would have turned out well. If you had told him to contact your mother, there is just as much chance that it would have turned…

I am so sorry this happened to you.

For once, I agree with Fuck-Up here. You are not an oracle; you can’t predict the future. You can’t know that anything you might have said or done would have done anything at all.

I say this as someone who battles lifelong major depression and has attempted suicide. This is not your fault. It’s easy to fall into that thinking in your grief. People always want an explanation of why it happened. The why exists in the mind of the suicidal person. You have no way of knowing that, had your father…

I have had two very close friends take their own lives. I promise you, Guilty, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Please, please, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, and get a referral to a therapist who has deep experience with survivors and family members. That therapist can help you.

About a year ago my dad died of suicide.

This is not, was not, will never be your fault, LW.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255

You should have mentioned the sleep deprivation/terrorism technique of the car horns, and connected it to 2020 and the use of police sirens all night in black neighborhoods in protest cities.

I bet Jill makes great decorated cookies with her grandkids. Full of frosting and sprinkles.

Ted Cruz *is* a butter sculpture, brought to life by Nazi warlocks.

I just realized how weird it was to go through an election summer and not have a bunch of horrible photos of Trump/Pence, Biden/Harris eating food on sticks at various state fairs. The closest we had was Ted Cruz going to visit a butter sculpture...

Yeah, but nowadays, seemingly every recipe I read begins with a 5 paragraph life story of the recipe writer.