He doesn’t have to do this material. That’s the thing. Dude is a genius, a master. He can riff on the approximately one billion other topics of la condition humaine and be funny, but instead he does this shit. On purpose. He’s just a fuckin’ asshole at this point, ain’t no more to it

Wait - technology? Dude I know what I use to avoid causing or suffering fatalities from speeding, driving drunk, and lax seat belt use, and it sure ain’t fuckin’ technology

Too true. Like we say in mountain biking (ok, I’ll be honest, like THEY say in mountain biking), don’t look at the rock, because you will crash into the rock. Your brain makes you steer where your eyes are looking. BONK

I went to the Miami Grand Prix in the 80s once.  It was down near Bayside.  It was a long time ago.

Well, in fairness, you did write “Tucker Carlson on his show to advise men to tan their balls using infrared light” and that’s what he was probably referring/responding to. “Probably” being “pretty dang obviously”

It’s weird to be a person who has been reading the site forever and remains drawn in by inertia despite being smarter than every single person who writes for Jezebel now. It most def did not used to be that way. So much basura and dumb shizzle, yet I keep coming back.

I’m straight up for real loling at this

That gun is fugbo. And Jeffree, honey (honee?), it’s not a Sig and you and I both know it. 

I don’t watch the show but it looks like she’s got a sevenhead in that photo

Look at that girl in the photo with her hands on her hips. Yeah, me too, girl. Same.

Where did that dude’s watch cap go

Yeah that seemed like its own lede to me. Over half his shares? Dang. That is a chunk...

If I ever found myself writing that first sentence, the toe’s going in the trigger guard

Inspired By Bane

Also.....dude is not attractive.  

The cringe is off the charts at this point

The hed is snotty and childish, what the fuck is that take?, and the subhed is plain wrong. Christ

To answer the question in the subhed, no. Plus look at that boring-ass regular door they put on it.

I know. Gonna be a field day for the right on this one. James O’Keefe could have spent $6m on some kind of attack-and-discredit campaign and not damaged the BLM movement as much, I reckon. Giving this kind of fuel to the likes of Tucker Carlson freakin’ kills me. 

Akademiks is a fucking fool.