dookiebird
Silas Von Dookiebird
dookiebird

dad jokes!

Do you think the increasing popularity of EVs could be related to all these battery charges?

A clear distinction, thank you.

Imperial snapwoozles. 

72 inches is six feet.  84 for 7.  That is at least 7/8 of a hogsbead.

LS Swap.

How the hell are drivers meant to get through that while texting? It’s government gone mad, completely out of touch with road users’ Instagram-watching needs.

Is Elon Musk doing this to me with some kind of shittification beam from a satellite in geosynchronous orbit?”

How am I going to get sick when I’ve just been tying these onions to my belt, which has been the style for some time now?

Why, exactly, are there no maximum speed governors on American cars? We can buy cars that are capable of joining the 200MPH club directly off the lot. In a country where the highest posted speed limit is 85, wouldn’t a mandated 100MPH governor in all cars be reasonable?

I know most people will hate this idea- most new cars have technology which can read speed limits.

Exactly. You want John Wick? This is how you get John Wick.

I say this as someone who likes driving fast, who owns fast cars, and who is generally skeptical of adding more bureaucracy to our lives:

Fight Milk already comes with several times the allowable daily limit of crow oil so if you’re adding any additional oils you want to be sure they’re from an avian source. I know it’s a hassle but I don’t make the Bird Law in this country.

This country is overdue for a reckoning in general about what labor is worth and how people deserve to be treated.

Now in this new “work from Home” world, you realize how annoying those things are. It appears that there is one landscaper working in the neighborhood at any given time during the day. And 10 of them during important zoom meetings.

But my fragile masculinity runs on small gas engines.

What, trying to stem the tide of heating up the planet?

I hate gas-powered maintenance equipment, but this seems like a practical approach. I’m glad it’s not an outright ban, since that would cripple all of the small business landscaping and maintenance companies. It would be economically devastating for the smaller guys, having to replace their entire maintenance fleets

something something devin nunes’ comet.