nah, it just means Rumsfeld has made it to his final destination.

I’ve been on Jalopnik for its complete 15 year existence and this is in the running for the dumbest post I’ve ever seen on here.

The whole thing made more sense to me when I saw that it was an Altima. Are we sure the car didn’t pull itself into the pump to end its own misery?

camo is a cultural identifier. 

Is this safety system because of one of those onerous job/economy killing government regulations that libertarians and conservatives say will destroy everything and kill us all like clean air and water regulations?

Nightmare two-car garage you say?

Looking at the responses, I suppose I did. But I genuinely didn’t think it’d be necessary.

Look, if the cop told the kid to ‘Freeze’, and he was holding ‘anti-freeze’, how is that not blatant failure to comply? Easy grounds for opening fire.

In Russia, the rubber impregnates you.

Those people don’t respond positively to much beyond Bud Light and meth. 

Ah, yes, the Fuzzy Zoeller special.

Why are you guys reprinting an article from 1992? I mean, some institution doing the “Hey, it’s Black Day, let’s serve them some black food...” thing? Seriously, there’s enough news today for you to cov...

Obviously...

Alternative plan, blow it up? 

I have fond memories of the last time gas prices were up above $4 in my area, and that’s not even adjusting for inflation between then and now (would be roughly $5 today). There was suddenly lots of “local interest” news reporting, where they’d catch a Karen carefully meting out a meager $20 worth of gas into her…

I dunno about that. Anybody who listened to Tracy would end up needing a tetanus shot.

If only they had a writer whose entire column is devoted to answering car buying questions, and perhaps also bought cars professionally as his career. If only.

The actual process was demoralizing because having never owned one, I know next to nothing about cars. I found myself Googling things like “how to buy a car and not be dumb” and “am I getting ripped off car.” I didn’t know how much to spend or what to look for.

And the nation would split into two factions, one who say the deadly door is deadly and the other that say the door is a conspiracy and doesn’t actually exist.

Those new laws: