That’s hilarious. Left me in stitches!

And if I’m not mistaken, a defamation judgment typically isn’t dischargeable in bankruptcy. So, you know, take her house and cars and everything else.

True. But suffocating your roommate is never a good solution.

40 year republican war on education may have something to do with it.

Yeah, wow. Did I really need the “/s” at the end of that. Santa Barbara is know for [checks notes] fucking amazing weather.

I’m also a big fan of “Objection, non-responsive,” though I haven’t seen it in a congressional hearing.

This makes sense. Santa Barbara is known for having absolutely terrible weather pretty much year-round. If there’s any place you’d want to be sequestered inside a concrete block with only artificial sunlight to keep you from withering away, it’s Santa fucking Barbara.

So the million dollar question is whether the RWNJs will embrace this and ditch their other snake oil cures or just reject it because it’s (obviously) a librul conspiracy to divert attention from really really super duper drugs like [checks notes]... horse dewormer.

Sure hope they don’t pay it off...

Duct tape would like a word.

It’s English feet. So it’s not actually 72 inches. It’s more like 3/4 of a hogsbead or 3-1/2 snapwoozles.

You mean like the $1 Billion in assets, or $100 Million in capital gains in three consecutive years threshold that’s in the bill? Something like that? So this bill would only impact 700 people in the entire country and not come even remotely close to affecting any non-Musk/non-Bezos or their ilk?

This will fuck every American trying to save for their future.

More fake news from the CDC! I’ll continue to use my Better Homes and Coffins aromatherapy spray until REAL SCIENTISTS say it’s dangerous!!1! Or until it says so on Facebook. Which is where I get real news.

This is a big surprise. He ran all his other businesses so honestly and with such integrity. Pity.

That’s cold. Real cold.

Oh noes! My fam’ is going to get flu shots later this week and we were hoping for the $5 in store coupon to spend on a few bags of candy corn. It’s our annual pre-Halloween tradition!

So where does the line for horse penis start?

She had a preexisting condition (living) so dying was her own fault.

Would a Fuel Shark work on an electric vehicle? I’d think so. Maybe that’s the solution - mandate free Fuel Sharks with all electric vehicles so manufacturers could reduce battery capacity by like 20%!!1!