3 million people are 3 million people. It doesn’t matter what fucking state they’re in.

Ugh, the PS1.  Suikoden II was the only decent game it had.  

A friend of mine has an ex who had previously dated his younger brother, then later married his older brother.  She basically worked through that family in ascending order of age.  We used to joke that she’d be after his dad next.

That’s cool, I guess, but I think these kind of games just look wrong in hi-res. They need to be pixellated to capture that early 90s arcade feel. Maybe I’m being nostalgic, but what is Streets of Rage 4 if not nostalgic?

“We believe in equality and tolerance, despite ranking No. 1 on the list of the most racist countries in the world.”

What a stupid comment. British remembrance of the Battle of Britain has fuck all to do with its role in determining the course of the war. It was about preventing Britain being invaded and conquered. Paris needed to be liberated, but London didn’t.

So, basically, you’re going with ridiculous and unfounded stereotypes that you made up in your head.

I have to say, I didn’t realise Three Lions had gone away.  I thought it still got wheeled out at every major tournament, although I haven’t actually paid attention to one since 2006 or so.

If you removed penalties, defending would be too easy. The game already has a very low scoring rate compared to almost all other sports, and this would make it much worse. It would also be completely impossible for referees to adjudicate on what constitutes a clear scoring chance.

I think most of their other goals were from free kicks and corners, which are considered ‘set pieces’ and not ‘open play’, although it beats me why people are so obsessed with open play. Goals is goals.

Gareth Southgate is basically now the coach from every underdog sports movie ever.

Whenever I see USMNT written out, the first thing that comes into my head is Ninja Turtles...

Tony Blair was never a head of state. Britain’s head of state is the queen.

Well, I sure am glad my childhood was in the late 80s and early 90s before Lego had to resort to this nonsense.

Buck Bokai is one of the weird things about Star Trek’s treatment of baseball - on the one hand, they admit it’s a tedious sport that won’t last out the 21st century, yet on the other hand they also think it will somehow magically become popular enough in England that a professional team will be based there.

Trump Face is like the real world version of the Innsmouth Look. Will all the mini-Trumps one day mutate into bloated, orange, small-handed monstrosities and be forced to leave the human world behind?

Dumb list. The first Zelda game I played was Link’s Awakening, followed by LttP, but come on. The worst 3D Zelda is better than the best 2D Zelda. People need to stop idolising technically outdated games. On which note I will also add, every single NES game is a piece of shit, even Mario Bros 3.

My favourite Grandpa story is about his driving. My Grandpa was an absolutely appalling driver, and my Dad and my uncle used to rib him constantly about his driving. So to get back at them, he took an advanced driving course, passed it with top marks, put the certificate up in his living room, then went back to…

My Grandpa used to insist that it was impossible to tell when a drink had been spiked with vodka. I called bullshit when I was 15, so he made me do a blind taste test. He brought out two glasses of coke from the kitchen - one was regular coke, the other was pretty obviously pure rocket fuel. He was surprised I could…

In the 80s, games were shit.