Katy is sooooo fucking thirsty.

Cash her at the almost closed mall near you real soon, maybe?

[Cornell and Roger Ailes sit in Charon’s barge, and open their complimentary meals.]

To anyone who needs it:

i mean yeah if you offered me some for free i’d scrape off the pound of fondant and hoover it.

Thank you for starting this thread because everyone replying is my people.

Katy Perry is not smart. I don’t think she’s ever done or said anything that has indicated that she’s anything more than a totally vapid run-of-the-mill popstar whose been fortunate enough to have several hit singles sent her way.

My takeaway is Katy Perry is thirsty af to be noticed 24/7

A friend of mine is in her 60s and just had a neck/jaw lift done. She was beautiful before, but it makes her happy and more confident, and the work is very subtle and well done. I’ve always had deep-set hooded eyes, and might consider a small lift if my lids droop any further. At 35 I’m starting to see them!

United Airlines has announced her hiring as an animal assistant.

“COPS ARE OUT OF CONTROL, PUT CAMERAS ON THEM!” - Liberals.
“BUT MAH PRIVACY!” - Also Liberals.

Yet you kids wonder why no one of importance takes you seriously.

How many times do you think Joe has offered to go beat up Nick, in a blowing off steam kind of way, and Sofia has been like, “Ay, papi, no.” while rubbing his shoulders but secretly fantasizing about him actually doing it?

We also had to tie an onion to our belt because it was the style at the time.

I’m creeped out by whatever is on her boobs in the photo - makes her look like a Ken doll.

I am very confused by what is going on with Beyonce’s boobs in that picture. It almost looks like she has a rubber breastplate on.

I’m so goddamned disgusted right now. All I want for Christmas is for Tom Brady to get his dick knocked in the dirt. This asswipe and his asswipe wife (he can’t throw the balls and catch it, too), have NO FUCKING IDEA what it means to lose and KEEP losing.

People who fuck up traffic should be executed.

I would absolutely rather share a flight with a mastiff that’s sufficiently well behaved to take part in the Westminster dog show than any child in the world.

I’m an animal shelter volunteer and, between my wife and I, have four cats. PETA is garbage.

“fervent supporter of organizations like PETA”