Katy Perry is thirsty AF.

My same thought upon waking up from a 2 week coma after a car accident. Thank God my teeth are ok, my mother spent a fortune on them. :-/

I’m pretty sure that I’m personally keeping LaCroix in business. Lime LaCroix with cucumber and some muddled basil is really good. Of course it’s better if you add vodka, but it can stand alone.

This is a common hair pattern in the piglets of wild hogs. Since this is Texas, it’s very possible that it has some wildness going on there, and certainly isn’t going to stay any sort of a manageable size.

Maybe Kendall got her concealed carry license...

Oh please, it’s not as if she’s destitute.

Margaret Cho feuding with SWINTON is like Justin Bieber feuding with BOWIE. Bitch please, you are OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE.

As I’ve said before, and will say again...Katy Perry is thiiiiirsty AF and needs to shut her pie hole.

Just because they’re advertised as “calf hair” doesn’t mean they came from an actual baby calf. It just sounds more classy than “hair on cowhide.”

Because Katy Perry is THIIIIIRSTY AF.

I find it disturbing that people seem to care more about pronoun preference and whether queer is a slur, than the fact that this person SEXUALLY ASSAULTED SOMEONE.

SPRINKLES!!!

I live in the same town as Liaturd. He is the biggest waste of oxygen you could ever imagine. He lives near the golf course, in a section of town that has historic brick streets. He paid with his own funds to have the street to his house ripped out and replaced because it was too rough for his Ferraris.

#1, who the hell eats hot tuna?

We had a very small wedding at a friend’s home. If I’d had it my way, our guests would have been only cats.

The week before finals at college at which I work, a student fatally SET HIMSELF ON FIRE because his grades were not up to par.

You know, if they droop to a certain degree, it’s considered a medically necessary procedure and is covered by insurance. My doctor actually brought this up to me!

You seriously think The Simple Life was REAL??

I’ve been using their products for years, and I guess I just never noticed the part of the label that says “for black folks only.”

Harry Styles also completely STOLE a guitar lick from this song...