My boyfriend, an ex-cop, is house director for an SAE house at a Big-10 university. The fact that he hasn't pulled a gun and shot any of the little bastards is testament to his self control, because when he tells me some of the shit the stupid fucks do on a daily basis, I want to go over there and kill them myself.…

Wouldn't it have been AWESOMESAUCE if The Rock had clotheslined Kanye when he tried to go up onto the stage? So, so awesome.

Can we not trade Kanye and Madonna to some other country for some hostages or something and be rid of them??

Taco Bell. No seriously...umm, probably the testicles of calves, pigs and turkeys and I also love durian ice cream. I really don't think anything is that odd. I'm a damn garbage disposal.

Sleeping in a pitch black room is delightful...until you wake up to go to the bathroom and run face first into the wall. Then, because you're still not awake, you back up and do it again. Then, you go to work the next day and everyone probably thinks your boyfriend beats you. True story, sigh.

Sleeping in a pitch black room is delightful...until you wake up to go to the bathroom and run face first into the…

Not only is Mr. Glock my best friend, we pretty much do everything together. The only time we're apart is when we're at work. He was the hot boy who rode my school bus 35 years ago, and he's still the hottest thing I've ever laid eyes on and we have trouble keeping our hands off each other. Neither of us have any…

Hate to tell you, but after an incident like this, they don't just turn people loose willy nilly. Are you serious???

Was cutting the tip off a tube of Thread-Lok to open it and do not even ask me how, managed to cut the entire pad of my index finger off. One of those cuts that's so bad, it doesn't bleed for a good few seconds. The piece of my finger that I cut off was so big, I had to retrieve it from the floor and throw it into the…

I have concealed carry, and I carry my weapon everywhere I go save for the places that it is illegal to do so. I do not have children, nor is my firearm EVER left unsecured anywhere except in my own home, and there are never any children there. I have my own reasons for daily carry, it seems I attract the crazy…

Worst: My ex-husband's family was incredibly wealthy. His step-mother gave me a fruit basket for Christmas. Not just any fruit basket, it was obviously one from the discount bin. The fruit was just this side of rotten. It was a very obvious statement of her opinion of my marriage to her step-son.

It's ketamine, we use it to sedate horses.

I was the same way when I was a kid...and I'm still the same way now. My friends (boyfriend included), say that I give the BEST HUGS EVER...but they know not to touch me unbidden. And if someone I don't know well comes up and starts pawing at me, the looks on their faces are like someone just pulled the pin on a…

I think that's to keep him from licking his balls.

I laughed so hard at this, I had to close my office door. I'm pretty sure everyone could still hear me. This is the funniest thing I've seen all week. I swear the dog even leaves the room if he's on tv.