Thank you for clarifying that “not all” Jezebel readers support female ISIS members. It’s not like we could ever confirm or deny this by looking at the actual comments, so we are grateful for your iron-clad memory.

Yes, that’s really what we need to be focusing on here; what some Jezebel commenters said one time.

I know you have gotten a ton of responses, but to me the red flags here aren’t the situation, but how you write about it. If you were in the headspace to have a casual, fun affair with a married guy in an open relationship your post would not have been the rambling messof trying to convince yourself you are not going…

There is light at the end of the tunnel...it happens when you parlay the skills and experiences you got from this job into a new, better job.

Whoa, I promise you the response you’re getting here aren’t because we’re all into tired gender norms. It’s because we’ve either been somewhere similar or have had someone we love be there.

I’m not going to lie to you. There is no solution, other than getting a new job as fast as you can.

All love and respect due, but these comments are not people being rigid about nontraditional relationships, honey. This is a bunch of women who read your description of this man’s behavior, recognized it from past mistakes, and are telling you what a strong, independent woman learns to do in response to the all too…

You’re asking for advice and then rejecting what you get. A lot of us have been where you are, and we’re trying to spare you. Frankly, this sounds like self destructive behaviour. I’m not a professional, but I’m seeing someone who has constricted themselves for a very long time out of fear and now you’re looking for…

It sounds like he enjoys dating strong, independent women. Watch that... his W is a strong independent woman and she’s learned to just accept his arrangement to have affairs. He wants to show you the world, ever wonder why he’s no longer interested in doing that with his W? Ever wonder why he had to remind you he…

I don’t know if my story is really applicable to you, but I offer it for whatever its is worth. When I started law school I was in a relationship that was borderline at best. I wasn’t sure of my feelings about him, but we were long distance so I thought that I could compartmentalize my feelings about that relationship…

I think he chose you because you are smart and he knows that you think you are in control. I do think he sounds manipulative and I think there is very possibly more to all of this that is not being disclosed. If you are the type of person who can't jyst fuck someone and forget about it you might be setting yourself up…

You’re not comfortable. Your gut is telling you there’s something wrong about it. You feel weird. So listen to yourself and stop.

Can you keep him on the mere fringe of your life, as he will you?

I don’t know where you got the idea that men are participating in uncomplicated affairs all over the place - theirs mostly end in disaster too. Ask my friend who accidentally got his married affair-mate pregnant. And after her husband offered to take custody of the baby if he disappeared, he decided that he wanted to…

Don’t go to the party. Plan on coming down with a 24 hour bug that morning, send your regrets and a small gift to the birthday girl, and take your other friend to the movies or something fun instead.

The bartender put her/himself in that position. S/he kept filling the guys drinks all night, presumably getting tipped for each round and saw what those guy were doing. The bartender should have shut them and you off way before it got to the blacking out drunk stage, and should have told the guys to bugger off and…

You imposed on them? Or they imposed on you and tried to take advantage of you? They didn’t have to buy you drinks if they didn’t want to.

“Um, this is about as extreme as holding hands :/”

Disagree. She consented. He consented. The people around her did not consent to help those two people get off. The very fact that they’re in public tells you that it’s the public gratification they’re getting off on. And that’s not okay.

Ok, look. It might consensual for the woman here. But it is NON consensual for the general public.