I know my job is killing me. I dread going every day, and I have absolutely no joy in my life right now. But I can’t find a better job, and everyone I ask for help pretty much says “I don’t know what to tell you.” I think of suicide daily.

How and in what world does this work, like at all? If he loses the pants, he’d probably look better in the shirt and whatever underwear he is wearing. When I was in middle school one of my girlfriends had a sleeveless top in this exact shade and material, and I just remember it looking odd no matter what bottoms she…

Can I get in on this chat? I don't have any friends.

Fuck. He nailed it.

Gaffigan: tell me about it

Haha. Word.

I asked this too cuz I have her natural hair type too, and I kind of love her curls. lol I guess there’s a certain kind of perm you can get, but you have to re-perm often because of regrowth.

Yeah that's the one I was going to try but noticed it contains aluminum. They tell me not to put aluminum on my armpits but I can put it on my scalp? I'm confused

Yeah that's the one I was going to try but noticed it contains aluminum. They tell me not to put aluminum on my…

Ok, so I was going to try dry shampoo but noticed it contained Aluminum. Why is it ok to put Aluminum on your scalp but not your armpits? Anyone?

Ok, so I was going to try dry shampoo but noticed it contained Aluminum. Why is it ok to put Aluminum on your scalp…

Re: the hair. I kind of want it. And I have the same hair type as her before pics-fine/thin, wavy blonde. How can I get this? It looks so fucking thick and soft. Like a hair pillow. And you can't see any scalp. I want the faux black lady hair! :/

He went to college to be a bodyguard?

A friend of mine was riding the bus today and he got punched by a black dude for splashing a drop of coffee on his shoes. First the guy was like “wipe that off!” And my friend who was completely polite and apologetic went to wipe it off and the black dude was like “don’t fucking touch me!” Then punched him. He was…

Vanessa Hudgens is clearly humblebragging about her amazing fucking house/apt which is probably in Manhattan or Brooklyn and over 5mil so fuck her.

Riff raff seems like one of the customers I get that say “I need my coffee!” Then orders a frappuccino. So fuck him.

So you're only a fan of perfect people then? So like no one?

Can we PLEASE get a Rick Moranis cameo? That would like make my decade.

Is this a fake song or a real song? Some form of musical comedy ala Steven Lynch?

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Wow. Miley and I have something in common. I wonder all the time how the super rich can live in their multi million dollar apartments in NYC while there’s so much poverty around them, and not be compelled to do something about it. And by something, I don’t mean move the poors out. I also have the same thought when I…