Juan Williams is on Fox News, ergo, Fox News isn’t a conservative new source.

That’s your profound “logic”

Oh yeah, Barack Obama. Who was most successfully lampooned as a guy so calm and reserved that he needed an anger translator to communicate effectively with other humans. That Barack Obama. If there was one word or phrase I’d associate with Barack Obama, it was totally “incitement.”

Objects Behind You Are Closer Than They Appear

“He's right behind me, isn't he?"

Mueller mulls major mandate, meanwhile multimillionaire miscreant meanders mindlessly meeting mistress. 

Planes, Trains, and Collusion

Indict Me If You Can

In a vacuum: Someone made a typo, big deal, everyone’s human. Besides, this pales in comparison to everything else going on.

Trump is also really being stupid about the whole Putin-invitation-to-the-WH thing. If you need to see your Russian handler, you don’t tweet about it for the whole world to see, you just discretely move a flower pot on the WH balcony!

Under Obama, only 30% of white evangelicals said they would accept immoral personal behavior by an elected official.

Reagan could at least play a Conservative Christian.

I really do my level best not to judge people for their lifestyle choices. I’m a decade past arguing with jesus freaks and vegans and breeders and conservatives and crystal healing people and Eastern medicine people... I just end everything with “Oh, that’s interesting. I’ll have to look into that!  thanks!” But I…

What a shocker the guy who cried about having to charge an extra ten cents a pizza for health care for his workers is a bucket of smashed assholes.

“It’s not fair! Colonel Sanders was always manhandling breasts and slobbering over thighs, and no one made him sign confidential settlements with the chicks involved.”

Bitter expedients. Bitter cretin. Papa John.

When white second amendment people send their folks over, they’re not sending their best. 

“headed for”

Nah, you don’t get to say people don’t have to sell gay wedding cakes and turn around to bitch about this.  Fuck off, and your little hat too.

“We were not being obnoxious or pushy... now fire that driver and apologize. OH! And a statement. We want a - you know what, we want two statements.”