Donald Trump is in shape! He has a shape.

The average age of a minimum wage worker is 35. 35 year olds ARE millennials.

If you were born between 1940 and 1960 you’re a boomer. 1960 and 1980, you’re a Gen xer. 1980 and 2000 you’re a millennial.

Okay, if you’re 35 you’re a millennial. Most 35 year olds remember TLC and don’t listen to Bieber.

Why the fuck did our parents pressure us to get degrees in “Anything. Just get a college degree in anything”.

I thought that because of how unpopular the brexit decision was they were saying that it had to be approved by a high court. I am American, and never followed up on that news. Do you know if it’s true?

Generally it’s probably not Millennials who are opening up business and selling them to Busch. It’s probably gen xers.

I think an appropriate response can be “If you want to have another fucking kid then GO FOR IT. But I’m not helping you. At all.”

Good God is your mother on the Real Housewives? Because she sounds like drama.

Jesus. Is your mom aware of the difficulties you’ve been having?

I starred this, but then I realized that it might seem like I was starring you crying yourself to sleep.

Friends can be better than sisters. You don’t need a blood relative to be love. Friends are family in my book.

I used to work at starbucks. When you work there, they call any criticism “coaching”. You’re coached on how to use the computer. You’re coached on how to improve your drinks.

I had never heard of it either and I looked it up and it’s terrible. Apparently some randos on 4 Chan or whatever accused an actual pizza place in DC of being a child sex trafficking hub where Hillary would rape kids in the back room.

Just kidding I looked it up. What a stupid thing.

What’s Pizza Gate?

Gwyneth’s life is hard! Her name is spelled stupidly so she gets it. She gets America.

You’re not being dickish. You passed the bar TWICE. That’s awesome. I’ve known a lot of seasoned lawyers who have wanted to move but didn’t because they were like “I’m not taking the bar in California. I’m just not.”