Right? SPLOOSH.

RIGHT?

I want the beard trend to go away. They’re gross. For example, the guy in the pic up above would be SMOKIN’ if it wasn’t for that awful gross frizzy fuzz protruding from his chin.

I can say this as a New Mexican: our local news isn’t exactly known for scientific rigor or journalistic excellence. Shower and wash your beard, you’ll be fine.

I have been patiently waiting for the hipster beard trend to be over for maybe the last 5 years?

Ha! Sounds like you’re about to do some fundraising for them. “Please help the assless...everyone deserves an ass. Especially in America.”

62% of men (compared to 40% of women) don’t wash their hands after potty time. Then they smooth out their beards in front of the mirror. Beard feces. You are welcome.

Maybe kitten poo.

Even the assless deserve a salad tossing.

Also, wash your beards regularly, please. It’s hair, you can use regular old shampoo and conditioner on it, if you’re worried about drying it out.

Good point actually...wash your hands...well, everybody.

*takes a bow*

poors. n. description of 30% of Americans, underclass useful for incarceration for profit, gender/racial profiling by authorities, predatory financial schemes

If they handed it to me, as someone who is a substitute teacher (“independent contractor”) and makes barely above minimum wage with tons of student debt and not enough money to afford to student teach so I can get a “real” job (work full time free for a semester! oh yeah your shitty university placed you an hour drive…

Is it just me or is prize money on tv getting less and less? I love Chopped, but I’ve always thought the $10,000 prize was cheesy as hell. Worse, it seems like that’s a lot of money to most of the contestants. Chefs get paid shit, I’ve come to realize.

Actually, we’ve moved onto something...darker.

If Republicans have taught me one thing, it’s that the Poors who receive these briefcases will immediately go out and buy crab legs, steak, and a new iPhone and then book themselves on a cruise. In fact, this show was probably sponsored by the Crab Leg, Steak, iPhone and Cruise Association of ‘Murrica.

If you think this (or any “reality tv” show) is real...