A Cardinals win deserves your best Dave Coulier joke.

You tried your best.

Except everyone can name a foreign leader trump admires.

Chris Matthews: I bet you can’t name one foreign leader you admire.

“Umm, Two Leppos?”

If that was true the party and its candidates wouldn’t be the fucking joke it is now.

Trump: same answer + 1000 words of nothing related to the question + 500 words of self-assured bullshit + “Crooked Hillary”= President

I eagerly await the cool kids in my Facebook feed rationalizing this one.

That’s cold. Here, I am, a Browns fan, minding my business, and trying to forget about a dumpster fire that poses no risk to the Republic by reading about a dumpster fire that absolutely poses that risk and you post this.

This is the darkest timeline

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

Someone should sit there with an easel and say they are painting a portrait of him.

I’m sure it was no coincidence the Republican convention was in Cleveland...

oh god suddenly I want Trump to buy the Cleveland Browns SO BAD

Week 1: “Carson Wentz looked more polished than he was because of his opposition.”

“It’s just like The Breakfast Club, except everyone is 70, evil, and maybe sundowning.”

I’m pretty sure it’s all part of the plan to have Carson Wentz replace Manning and Watt as the player your dad looks up to and wishes he had as his son.

When asked what he’s going to do now that he’s got a 100 million dollar contract, Antetokounpo said he’d carry on the fine Greek tradition of spending all 300 million of it.