If you consider NCIS to be worth watching, I can only recommend that your home care nurse restricts your access to the internet. 

Hell yeah! Way to take it to ‘em! Stupid sports website!

obligatory

Memba when the Braves and Cubs were all you could see on cable?

I remember the ep. I do not remember the specific phrase though. I apologize

I present to you, with a chef’s kiss, the top comments on the column

If only they hadn’t given $75 million to Curt Schilling.

I have another one that isn’t quite as on-brand but is pretty stupid anyway.

Yes. I support misgendering whenever possible.  I even have a 501(c)(3) dedicated to the cause. 

I’m hoping for the best for this kid but there is something unsettling about these videos.  People oversharing “little kids do amazing things” only encourages more assholes to basically abuse their kids and I think any number of these kids are basically being robbed of a childhood because daddy or mommy is addicted to…

It didn’t qualify but it’s a good illustration of the reason for the infield fly rule.

He was triple out. Forced, tagged, left the baseline. Only thing left is to be on the cover of Out magazine next month.

Zlatan isn’t washed up; washing up is Zlataned.

Yo, ease up on the crapping on MLS. We fans, know that MLS doesn’t have the payrolls required to be one of the best leagues in the world. Give it time. Zlatan was 37 and scoring goals for Man Utd, and now that he is in MLS, he is now “washed up?”

That’s the kind of dick move I respect, because it requires planning.  Personally, I'd just kick the guy in the dong.

“DADDDDYYYYYY DIDNT GIVE ATTENTIOONNNNNNN”

Front page in the last half-hour, chronologically:

Maybe Musk can build me a loop to a site with original content?

All of Musk’s plans are just a game of SimCity with an infinite money code and disasters turned off.

Sounds like they need to change their name to PaulRyanair