Starred for CO’D; I think Ayoade would be impossible. Like trying to get it on with the family dog. The incalculably erudite, socially anxious, bespectacled and betweeded family dog.

I had no idea Lee Mack was a comedian.

“The professor saw how uncomfortable the students were with his language,” he said. “If he doesn’t respect the students’ opinion, then it’s not worth learning from him.”

Oh, yeah. Every generation has only one fucking personality.

Acknowledging other people’s feelings is socialism.

I was physically sick before I went on air. Because I’m smart.

That’s because they are better. Vintage cast iron was made when the universe had not expanded as much as it has today, so all the iron molecules are closer together, making the pans stronger and smoother.

It sounds like you want every aspect of human behavior to be regulated by the state. Do you really think “being an asshole” should be criminalized? Is the only response to another person’s unwanted behavior bringing in the government? What happens when the inevitable Asshole v Asshole cases start coming up?

Prejudice over a culture based on the belief ours is superior—if that’s not textbook racism, it’s dangerously verging on the idea.

He accepted a plea deal that was agreed upon by the prosecution, the examining doctors, and the victim; an illegal ex parte communication changed the judge’s mind.

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Susan B died in 1906.

But direct testimony is under oath if perjury charges can be brought.

The idea that a fourth grader can “understand” Hemingway is bullshit. How hard the words are or aren’t has not a damn thing to do with how simple/transparent the author’s message is.

“Seattle’s local KIRO 7 news reports that he has not been charged with a crime.”

Kids today are fucking idiots, then, because that was not satire.

Kids today are fucking idiots, then, because that was not satire.

You have to be under oath, and it has to be direct testimony.

Lawyers don’t testify. Perjury isn’t the issue.

So is being old and grumpy. And yet I persist...

So is being old and grumpy. And yet I persist...

What the fuck did I just read? This is bullshit for a BUY column and bullshit for a DON’T BUY column. Unless you were trying to make your readers think you are an ignorant, tone-deaf child, in which case, this was a home run.

What the fuck did I just read? This is bullshit for a BUY column and bullshit for a DON’T BUY column. Unless you…