I want to get medieval on his ass.

Turbo wins the prize, but equal-length headers and transmission gears get runner up.

The tale has a happy ending, though:

I think the car looks fine as is with the optional 20" rims.

A S600 Benz would be my ride. Not one of the upcoming V8 models, either. I'm talking about the turbo V12s without the S65's ground effects and wheel package. Stately, and still capable of a 12 second 1/4 mile.

Shit, I'd host a F1 race right through my neighborhood if I had a measly $25 million to offer. This is money well spent, Texans...

The rant about financing was delicious. I wish they had used different voices for the two characters, though.

Stealing wheels? Do people still do that? Next you'll be telling me I'm still in danger of having my windows cracked and my $100 Pioneer ripped out of my dash. When will it end?

I'm still partial to the AH-64 Apache helicopters and A-10 Warthogs—two brutes of machinery that bring maximum firepower. The Apache's chain gun's ability to murk Reuters cameramen at up to a couple miles distance is only bested by the Warthog's ability to lay 75 rounds per second through your tank formation.

@Maxichamp:

This is all so...unexpected.

I could tell after the first run that no other car in the video would have a chance.

@jvrbanac:

I think the only fault of the Colorado is the lame choice of engines. The Trailblazer's straight-6 would have been hot and the V8 should have always been available.

I want those seats for my living room and I want those wheels back on a Japanese car where they belong.

@Volvo4Life - S60R Totaled :(:

He hasn't got rid of the Element yet? Planning on being single a long time, yes?

This has much potential...let's hope we don't screw it up.

2nd generation Altimas

I'm not going to lie. I was hoping all along that they'd get arrested for that shit.