Right after the election, I couldn’t shake that feeling everywhere I went. I kept eyeing people suspiciously, wondering, “Was it you? Were you one of the people who voted for them?” It was an awful, paranoid feeling. It went away after a few days, but it’s come back on full force this week.

How long until he actually stands up there and just starts screaming, “YOU ALL HAVE TO LOVE ME! YOU HAVE TO LOVE ME NOW! I AM YOUR PRESIDENT! I AM THE BEST YOU’VE EVER HAD! THE BEST YOU EVER WILL HAVE! I’ll DESTROY YOU IF YOU DON’T! LOVE ME! LOVE ME! LOVE ME!”

You missed the woman’s AWESOME follow up. Bravo!

I assure you it won’t be

i have an aerospace engineering degree and im very stupid

People are equal, their opinions aren’t.

I’d like to take a moment to combat the very hurtful message that all progressives preach love and togetherness. I consider myself to be very progressive (and am widely known as being intelligent) and I can tell you that I think love and togetherness are a pile of horseshit. I would describe my attitude toward…

*severely fucks up the part of my body my living is dependent on with a toy for children* im the most scientific mothrefucker out here libs

Another good one was when Larry Bird was doing a call in interview to the Dan Patrick show and Patrick brings up that Jordan had recently said how he could beat any of the current players on the Hornets roster 1 on 1

Or Kwame Brown #1 overall?

Tim Duncan famously backed Joe Lacob down in the paint and, then being sure to keep his pivot foot firmly planted, gave two strong head fakes, before going up with a two handed lay-up using the glass.

Who of us hasn’t drafted Adam Morrison third overall?

It’ll be amazing because Mark is going to play the roles of Tom Brady, Danny Amendola, Julian Edelman, and Rob Gronkowski.

The Mark Walberg movie about this is going to be insufferable.

Nerd alert.

Now I wanna see a Fresh Prince reboot where wacky youth Jaden Smith moves in with his Uncle Shaq

When did this happen? Now I can’t stop seeing Uncle Shaq...

Does this mean I get:

“Bastically I came to bring de rain”