This is so offensive. I knew this girl growing up who had her right hand bitten off by a wild beaver and now can only write with her left hand and she is like really really self-conscious about it. After reading this it's like all I can do to keep from crying thinking about her.

I think it depends. My high school's football cheerleaders were pathetic. There were no stunts and the girls could barely be bothered to smile. However, the competition team was ridiculous. I have total respect for girls like your niece. The football cheerleading girls from my old school? Not so much.

Interesting talks that are easy to understand are out there (I love you Ted talks!) it's just that we as a society seem to have an overwhelming sense of apathy to all things that aren't Jersey Shore.

I love your mom's outlook on life.

I'm sorry but you're kind of icking me out here. Have you ever considered that YOUR special snowflake gets to go home to a family that loves him and this boy goes home to an addict mother, an absent father, and a grandmother? And, if this kid is expelled all of a sudden he will have even less resources available to…

Ha! You are not a weirdo. Caffeine plus alcohol makes me want to fight people in the street. I swear one of the old formula Four Loko's turned me into a grizzly bear.

Lenny Kravitz was the first person to spark a fire in my adolescent lady loins. I would watch this movie even if I hadn't devoured the books 3 weeks ago solely for the Kravitz factor.

I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this but this totally is my new fact that I've learned today. Thank you!

Ooo that was my first thought too. Waffle House may apparently be a southern company but it will never be considered southern food. She is missing OUT on some soul food opportunities.

To be fair, I think you could ask every single citizen in my hometown and they would wholeheartedly disagree with the idea that Maryland is a Southern state. Technically, we don't even consider Atlanta southern. It's like backwards snobbery.

Is there a Western equivalent?

I haven't eaten at one either sober or before 3 AM in years but I can say that WH is incredibly yummy drunk food.

Oh damn! Where do you drunkenly stuff your face with an All Star Special equivalent??

I'm confused. Is Waffle House a Southern thing? I know that the ratio of WH's to churches is pretty much 1:1 in my south Georgia town but I didn't think they were considered a strictly southern restaurant.

Nothing comes between a Great Dane and its sleep. If we take too much noise while ours is taking a nap she will look up, reproach us with her eyes and maybe a very pointed sigh, and then thunk her big old head back down on the ground.

I just snorted. Dump shaming totally got me. Hearted!

I've actually crossed over from super annoyed to obvious staring when people talk loudly at my favorite coffee shop. I have come to realize that people have no sense of decorum and think that private conversations should be held in public, very quiet places. I have heard everything from birthing plans discussed with…

However, you'll be the parent with the well adjusted child in 20 years and she'll have the child posing nude for PETA (for the animals!). You're winning the war!

Eat something hearty to prepare you for a night of free drinking with a man you find attractive! Don't worry about putting so much effort into how you look and focus on just having a good night because I'm sure he finds you sexy either way!

My mother decided to buy herself a BMW as a present to herself a couple years ago and after having a similar experience to yours (the guy went so far as to ask if he could deal with her husband to "talk business" instead of her) she haggled the price to lower than what she bought her soccer mom car years earlier. Few…